It Came From The Secret Stash (Part 2): Image, Graphitti & Dark Horse! Oh, My!

Hello, my friends.  Through all of the absurdity & insanity that the world has more than provided across the vast timeframe, there’re certain points within said chaos that ultimately brings a smile to our faces and allows us to take in all of the quirky moments that life has to offer.  For one man’s personally created version of Earth, the utterly bizarre & mature levels of wacky have only begun on both the big screen and on the comic book page.  On that latter note, I welcome you back to the final part of…

Last time, we checked out every single tie-in comic published by Oni Press and how they intertwined themselves within the first four movies of this long-running entertainment series.  From there, we begin to venture past the humble fears of Y2K in order to see where else Kevin Smith can take us within his universe aside from the mainline movies.

As we move into the 21st Century, other publishers would come along to allow its franchise creator to weave several more side-narratives that took place within his own landscape.  As such, let’s begin the second half of this historical journey by briefly bringing up a film that this era of tie-in comics would take shape in.

Originally released on August 24, 2001, via the House of Weinstein’s Miramax and the now-defunct Dimension Films, “Jay And Silent Bob Strike Back” sees the featured dual stoners finding out that the superhero duo named Bluntman & Chronic is being turned into a movie.  With neither of them being compensated despite said figures being initially created from their likenesses, they set out on a nationwide road trip to Hollywood in order to prevent the film from being made.  Made on a $22 million budget, it went on to rake in over $33 million while mainly receiving a mixed critical reception.  This was also originally intended to be the last chapter for the whole series since several actors from prior entries returned to reprise their past roles.  While that absolutely didn’t turn out to be the case and allowed for the release of several more comics that will be discussed here, our main focus takes us to a particular piece of tie-in material.

Published in December 2001 by Image Comics in conjunction with Bob Chapman’s Graphitti Designs, “Bluntman & Chronic” was released as a trade paperback and consists of an over-arching story told over three chapters.  For this massive tale, Kevin Smith continues to helm the writer’s chair, Michael Avon Oeming & Pat Garrahy get to share their artistic duties with Garrahy also working on the colors and lettering, while Neil Vokes serves up some art assists.  As for the kind of perils that these super stoners will find themselves in, let’s light ’em up and find out.

We open on Chapter 1 “…C*ms A Hero!” out in space as a being narrates about Earth and the many ways that other alien species have described it.  From there, said figure mentions how their spacecraft is severely damaged and that they must find some “new hero” whom they can impart “the greatest weapon in the universe” to while descending towards the planet.  From there, we shift over to the familiar dual stores as Jay crudely talks to a woman who’s taking her leave.  He then mentions to Silent Bob that he was talking in the lyrics of a 2 Live Crew song and is stumped as to why they’re not working, despite how obviously lewd they are.  Suddenly, the spacecraft lands behind the Quick Stop Convenience Store as they head over to check it out before they discover a fatally wounded alien lifeform that describes itself as the guardian of this galaxy’s sector and that he was attempting to fend off an evil that’s looking to enslave Earth’s populace.  With his dying breath, he tells them that they will become the new guardians before Jay decides to reference E.T. by touching the being’s finger right before he dies.  Shortly afterwards, Jay freaks out before he heads off to go wash his hand.

He and Silent Bob proceed to casually make their way into the High-Tech Radioactive-Testing Science Lab before they reach the restroom.  While Jay manages to wash his hand, Silent Bob is having trouble trying to pee into a urinal as he ultimately makes his way into a stall.  Just then, he spots some crude writing concerning him which gets him annoyed.  As Jay joins him, he and Silent Bob decide to urinate on the toilet paper roll as they proceed to do so, even while they hear a loud “Bang” from outside.

As they leave the restroom, they soon spot several scientists fleeing as they decide to check out what they’re all running from.  They then check out a laboratory damaged by a recent explosion as a spectacled worker named Peter mentions that he was mixing some chemicals before the room blew up.  While they learn what he was specifically up to, a radioactive spider makes its way onto a nearby table before it creeps towards Silent Bob.  However, Jay crushes the being with his hand and wipes the spider guts onto Peter before he and Silent Bob head out.  As they walk down the streets, Jay then mentions how he feels like the universe is trying to tell them to do something heroic.  They then make their way onto a crosswalk before a truck containing radioactive waste begins to bare down on them.  Fortunately, a man manages to push them out of the way in time, yet Jay & Silent Bob don’t take kind to this heroic act as they beat him up solely because they were pushed.  As they head out, Jay tells his comrade how crime seems to be getting rampant in their town and that it needs some kind of protector (or ever protectors) who can “take back the night from the criminal element”.  Just then, they spot a sign for a voluntary drug testing session where people could test out a new drug that’s attempting to aid America in their fight against their enemies and that they would get $5 for their trouble.  With this serving as their way of getting some free drugs, they immediately decide to take this offer up.

They soon reach the facility and go through some elimination trials before they’re ultimately the two remaining candidates who proved themselves worthy of being injected with a new super-soldier serum.  The general proceeds to tell them that if this serum works, then they’ll also be given “an impenetrable shield made of the toughest element known to man” in order to fight against their nation’s enemies.  The doctor then prepares to inject them with the serum, but Jay says that he and Silent Bob had assumed that they would be taking the drug via smoking, to which they’re informed that it’s too volatile to be taken through any single way other than injection and that igniting it would make it lethal.  However, Jay tells the doctor that he and Silent Bob won’t do it since they think that it’ll turn them into the kind of depraved person that Julian Wells from “Less Than Zero” became.  The doctor reminds them that they’re already severe drug abusers, to which Jay says that they’re strictly stoners as they get dressed and leave with each of them getting $5 in the process.  Later, Silent Bob had spent his newly acquired money on some scratch-off lottery tickets as Jay berates him for his purchase.  Just then, Silent Bob discovers something special about his ticket before he presents it to Jay as they discover that it’s a winner and that they’ve just won a huge cash payout.  With this financial upswing in their sights, Jay tells his comrade that they can use the money in order to become superheroes.

They begin their plan by spending their lotto winnings on a deed which would allow them to secure their own base of operations, which turns out to be both Dante and Randal’s workplaces as they get kicked out of their respective businesses before they get forcibly closed.  After they dig their way into their own cave, they then build their own crime-fighting car while also creating their own devices like the Blunt-Saber.  Eventually, they purchase their own mansion before Jay mentions how he and his friend need to come up with their own superhero names in order to strike fear into their enemies along with their own costumes.  Just as a bat flies its way in through a window, the duo’s constant smoking causes it to croak and keel over as it gives them the idea for their new super identities.  From there, Chapter 1 ends with Jay becoming Chronic and Silent Bob taking on the role of Bluntman before they decide to look for some villains.

We then move into Chapter 2 “Acid-Washed Genes” as we focus on Book-Em Asylum for the Criminally Preoccupied where four criminals named Dick-Head, Cock-Knocker, Diddler and News-Group are attending their group therapy session as they all tell their therapist that they would like to talk about Bluntman and Chronic.  Richard a.k.a. Dick-Head ultimately proceeds into his backstory as he begins his tale by talking about the day he was born.

His parents initially thought that they had given birth to a girl, but they ultimately discovered that their baby came to be with an incredibly tiny wee-wee.  Over time, it took fourteen operations to get his man’s region resembling a “somewhat standard” package.  However, it didn’t prevent him from getting a Carrie-style teasing within the boy’s locker room.  He then recalls his lone good High School memory when he made love to a Catholic school girl named Katie McCormick, yet he would later find out that it was the only way that she could have sex without losing her virginity.  With him being constantly placed at the receiving end of several mean jokes, he ultimately dropped out of school before being forced to endure several menial jobs that kept reminding him of how inferior he felt.  Eventually, he came across an ad that would change his life forever.

Specifically, he came across a magazine ad for a mail order drug called Giagra which is meant to enlarge a man’s ding-a-ling.  Richard would order and receive it before learning that only a quarter of an ounce of it is meant to be consumed on a daily basis.  However, he ends up drinking the entire compound only to discover that it didn’t seem to work.  As such, he decides that he needs more of it as he initially tries to place another order.  Unfortunately, he learned that the FDA had just shut the company down due to “questionable health risks”.

With him not willing to let the government keep his man’s region at its microscopic state, he ultimately sneaks into Dopeco and finds a vat containing the liquid drug.  Just as he’s about to consume some more of it, Bluntman and Chronic smash their way inside as Richard decides to jump into the Giagra container.  Soon enough, it turns out that our heroes weren’t even aware that he was in the facility.  However, they soon come across the drug’s ad as Chronic decides that he wants to take some and enlarge his wee-wee.  Just as he’s about to take a sip, the compound blows up as they find Richard within his mutated state.  He then tells our heroes that he blames them for turning him into the otherworldly being that he’s become and that he’ll make them pay before fleeing.

We then shift back to the present as News-Group begins to tell his backstory to the group, as he was initially a naïve person who turned to comic books in order to properly deal with the world’s problematic pressures.  Due to others around him merely seeing him as an awkward misfit, he eventually gained access to the internet and discovered a letter’s page that he could send a message to the writer of a comic that he’s just gotten into.  Eventually, he logged onto said site (called “we’reeasilyfooled.com”, by the way) at an internet cafe and became hooked.  Through time, he convinced his parents into buying him a computer though not to find a job and move into his own place since he was 28 years old at the time.  From there, he continues to spend an unhealthy amount of time on said site to the point where a conversation with a user named “PowerChick” forces him to ditch his own self-identity.  Desperate to keep his hold upon this new digital ground, he then asks this mysterious user if there’s anything he can do to prove himself as “a good bloke”.

It’s then revealed that he was tasked to break into the Dense Continuity Comics plant and destroy all upcoming issues of the “Overy-Dialogued Archer Man” comic in order to send a major statement against every single superhero book, even though the company was going to recall said copies due to some artistic mistakes.  Just as he’s about to carry out his task, Bluntman and Chronic smash their way in through a skylight as their sudden arrival causes News-Group to fall into the vat of chemicals.  Just like the prior story, they also didn’t know that he was present as Chronic mentions how they’re only here to swipe some issues of the new O.D.A.M. comic in order to resell them on eBay “for a small fortune”.  Suddenly, they’re met by an explosion as the newly created News-Group emerges from the tank and reveals that the acid had permanently fused his computer into his chest.  He then promises to get back at them before he runs away as he concludes his story.  The therapist then asks the group if any of them has a hatred for our heroes that doesn’t include “a vat of acid”, yet Cock-Knocker and Diddler’s own origins are also similar since our heroes’ arrival within certain plants forced them to fall into similar chemicals.

As such, the therapist decides to share her simple backstory as she reveals that her longing to get vengeance on our main duo was because Jay made some sexually crude remark to her while she was leaving the Leonardo-based dual stores, thus revealing that she’s the same lady from the beginning of this tale.  She then reveals that she’s actually a female villain named Lipstick Lesbian before she blows open the asylum walls and leads her newly united team of evildoers out into the world in order for all of them to finally take our superheroes down.  From there, Chapter 2 ends with Bluntman and Chronic peeing on their roll of toilet paper within the Blunt Cave’s bathroom unaware of the dread that’s approaching them.

We kick off Chapter 3 “Death Be Not Profitable” with our heroes peeping on a pair of naked women who’re in the middle of a passionate love-making session as Chronic tells Bluntman that they’ll make their way over there in order for them to have sex with said ladies simply because they’re superheroes.  Chronic then proceeds to fire his grappling hook over to said apartment as it smashes through their window and latches onto their bag of sex toys, with both women unaware of the idiocy that’s intending to invade their private moment.  Chronic then begins to swing over there, only for the lone dildo that the hook is attached onto to get pulled out through the window.  He then acquires it and admires its feminine scent before the realization of his grappling hook not being attached to anything catches up and he falls towards the street.

While one of the women in the middle of the ladies-exclusive lovemaking mentions how it would be a bonus treat for two guys to suddenly burst in, a street-level shootout is occurring as a bad guy named Fiendish Bank-Robber-Man is trying to fend off some pursuing officers.  Just then, Chronic lands on the cops as the thief breaks the fourth wall to point out how he thought that said hero would fall onto him and bring his crime to an end.  As if on cue, he gets hit by the grappling hook and the dildo causing him to get knocked out as Bluntman glides down via his cape.  Chronic tries to set the public straight by saying that it was these two objects that took the criminal down, yet the populace praises Bluntman for using said items to save the day.  Chronic then complains about not getting any kind of praise, to which a citizen reminds him that he’s a sidekick especially since Bluntman’s name comes first within their official title.  Furious by this setup, Chronic tells his comrade that he officially quits before he throws his costume out and walks away.  Fortunately, he immediately goes back on his decision and puts his outfit back on merely because Bluntman is the one who handles their weed as they take their leave towards their base.

We then shift over to a marshy swamp located outside of the city as Lipstick Lesbian and her fellow evildoers commence with their team’s inaugural meeting.  She says that their plan to finally smite our heroes will have them attacking said duo within their Blunt Cave.  Cock-Knocker then mentions how no one knows where the hideout is located, to which News-Group adds onto the fact how there isn’t a single online source that remotely mentions where it could possibly be.  Fortunately for all of them, she simply shows them a map that blatantly points out where the heroes’ base of operations is at as her male comrades get excited for the upcoming battle.  In addition, there’s a message alerting the public that our heroes will actually be signing autographs at their hideout before Lipstick Lesbian explains that she received this attached to a flyer that was being given out at her local comic book store, with even Cock-Blocker pointing out how this “twist” is some “lazy writing”.  Meanwhile, Bluntman and Chronic are driving back to the underground headquarters as the latter rants about being labeled as a sidekick.  Suddenly, he notices something and gets his comrade to stop the car.

Soon enough, it’s revealed that he noticed a pair of hookers standing nearby.  With both of them eager to engage our heroes in some sex, Chronic then goes on a long and inappropriate tangent about how he wants the sexual act to be performed.  Not only is Bluntman shocked by this description, but this also actually gets the prostitutes offended as they decline their offer and leave.

Later, they arrive back at the Blunt Cave as they suddenly hear some grueling screams upon the opening of their base’s door.  It turns out that the villains were waiting for our heroes on the other side yet were mostly crushed in a bloody fashion when the door opened onto them.  However, Cock-Knocker is still intact as he slices Chronic in half with his beam sword.  Bluntman responds by slicing his foe in half with his Blunt Saber before he mourns the demise of his comrade to close out the comic.

For our last featured comic to directly tie into a cinematic entry, we move to 2006 where our favorite low-level store workers get their film-based follow-up twelve years after their inaugural outing.  Debuting at the Cannes Film Festival on May 26 before making its L.A.-based premiere on July 11 followed by its general North American release on July 21, “Clerks II” (made within The Weinstein Company and distributed by MGM) takes place a whole decade after the events of the initial movie where Dante Hicks and Randal Graves discover that a fire had destroyed their respective businesses.  With both of them taking jobs at a local Mooby’s, Hicks eventually gets himself a new girlfriend and begins to seriously consider about moving from New Jersey to Florida with her even though it’s also starting to strain his friendship with Graves.  Made on a $5 million budget, it went on to rake in just shy of $27 million while receiving mixed-to-positive critical reviews.

As for the book that intertwines itself with this 21st Century entry, we have a 20-page story published within a Graphitti Designs book called “Tales From Clerks II”.  While it contains some useful insight concerning the film itself, our featured focus sees us engaging a narrative written by Kevin Smith while Jim Mahfood takes care of the artwork.  For its inclusion in the “Tales From The Clerks Omnibus”, letterer Justin Stewart would be included for this story’s colorization.  As such, let us gaze onto the missing year in between jobs as we ask a simple question known as “Where’s The Beef?!?”.

We open with Dante being met up by Randal as the later realizes that he left the coffee pot on the previous night, resulting in the Quick Stop Convenience Store (and by extension, RST Video) being burned down.  Later, our two main men are driving around town as Graves mentions how school never seemed to teach them on how to handle certain “eventualities” within life like that, to which Hicks reminds him that their boss is being emotional due to their businesses going up in flames after learning about how the inferno was caused.  Randal then says that he’ll miss working at said business since he enjoyed his “awesome job” before mentioning how he saw his friend’s facial expression while he was looking at the building’s charred remains, to which Dante says that he wasn’t sadly shocked by the fact that their former places of work got roasted.  He mentions that he was actually stunned within the notion that it took a fire for him to finally be free from an occupation that had a relentless hold over his life throughout the past decade and that he can finally do anything he wants now.  Graves is stunned to hear his friend say that since he enjoyed Quick Stop, yet Hicks only saw that occupation as some form of punishment.  He then tells his friend that not only has he not watched the original Star Wars trilogy since he was a kid, but he also reminds Randal that he hated working there.  Graves clarifies by mentioning that he hates working altogether, yet those buildings were the most tolerable to him.  He then says that they have to start thinking about new jobs, to which Dante says that they’re not required to get jobs within both the same building and at the same time.

They then arrive at Mooby’s in order to have some food while Hicks tries to look for some employment, only to not find anything that he’s qualified for.  They eventually get into a Batman-themed conversation where Randal reminds his friend how he pretended to be the Dark Knight back in 1989 and that he used to leave Bat-Signal emblazoned cards onto the windshield of Gwen Turner’s car back when she used to work at the Bayshore Pharmacy.  When she reached her vehicle, she noticed the card and that it said “Look Up” before she spots him heroically standing on the roof pretending to be the Caped Crusader while wearing a long leather trench coat and a Batman shirt.  However, it would end in embarrassing fashion for him since after three hours of being unsure how to get down without breaking a leg, she wound up calling for a cherry-picker truck in order to properly help him.  Not only that, but their local newspaper ran a lead story about it and even used a picture that Graves took of the incident.  He then tells his friend that Batman serviced him for one of his “sexual memories” before he delves into a moment that he shared with a woman named Sylvan Derris.  While her parents were away checking out a movie, she puts on some music before proceeding to give him a blowjob to the beat of the Mis-Teeq song “Scandalous”.  During the whole ordeal, the next song that played was “Batdance” by Prince as she lip-synced Joker’s movie lines that were also in said musical piece.

Afterwards, our featured employee named Becky Scott comes over to happily pick up their trays and trash.  Despite her good service, Randal says that no one should be that into their job before mentioning how she’s always working here whenever they stop by along with her always doing several kinds of noble acts that good fast-food employees should do that he’s revolted by.  Dante says that it’s actually neat for someone to have pride in their work and that he wouldn’t mind working at any place where employees legitimately cared about customer service.  Graves then tells him in a snarky tone to go get a job application in order to work here, yet Hicks surprises him by saying that he’s going to do just that.  Randal tries to tell him that he shouldn’t be in a rush before reminding him about his notion of being “free”, to which Dante says that he’s happy to no longer be working at Quick Stop, yet he can’t afford to be jobless due to the high expenses of his New Jersey-based car insurance.  Graves then mentions how he thought that they were going to take some time off and that he wanted to work alongside him, to which Hicks says that he can just meet some new people over at a different job despite Randal claiming that he’s too old to make new friends.  Despite his friend being furious over his decision, Dante approaches the counter and asks Becky for a job application.  She taken a little aback due to the fact that this business usually only takes teenagers that’re trying to find a job and that they’re usually never able to stay on past a few weeks.  She even mentions how they nearly never get any grown-ups requesting to work here, to which Hicks says that he would still like to apply for a job here.  As she heads into the back in order to get him a job application, Graves begins to consider also working here as well due to the possible notion of teenage girls working there as well.  Dante rightfully calls him out for his changing stance before Randal mentions how this particular business never seems to get too busy and since he usually comes to this place to eat, he figures that he can work there while also scoring some free food.  Afterwards, Scott returns with a job application before Hicks brings up how he used to work for the Quick Stop Convenience Store.  Just then, Graves swipes the application and begins to fill it out himself to let his intention of working here be known.

We then shift ahead by two days as both men are now employed there, to which Becky tells Randal that he’ll be on fry duty while she teaches Dante how to work the drive thru.  In addition, she introduces Graves to his fellow co-worker named Elias Grover who’ll help him work the fryer.  Shortly after she and Hicks take their leave, Elias immediately makes his Jesus-fueled influence known to him.  Meanwhile, Scott teaches Hicks on how to properly operate the drive-thru window.  Afterwards, they have a playful conversation about her “anti-fast-food sentiment” before he asks her why she’s working here if she’s sharp and has some “managerial flair”.  She says that her uncle owns the place and that he’s been out of the hospital for the last several months dealing with some tumors due to his heavy smoking habits finally catching up to him.  As such, it was a year ago that her mother asked her to help out.  During said time frame, she’s able to attend classes at Monmouth when he’s healthy enough yet she’s had to put her education aside when his health relapses.  She also mentions how all of this puts a huge damper to her social life before also bringing up how she’s both met and hired some nice guys as they share a comforting glance with each other before the drive-thru buzzer sounds and forces Dante to get to work.  He ultimately receives a small order from a customer before Becky heads over to get it ready.

As the car pulls up, he’s then taken aback by the pretty woman who easily notices his own flustered expression.  After he mentions that she’s his first drive-thru customer, Hicks manages to introduce himself before the woman mentions that she’s a regular customer and that she hopes to see him every day.  Scott then returns with the compiled order as she recognizes the customer as Emma Bunting, to which she tells Becky that she commends Dante over Elias and his constant Jesus mentions.  She then flirts with a still-flustered Hicks for a bit before she eventually takes off.  As Dante tells Scott how amazing and pretty Emma was to him, we then shift over to Randal who’s stuck listening to Elias’s rambling about how many times he’s seen both a certain Lord of the Rings movie (Return of the King, to be exact) and the animated Transformers film multiple times, along with various religious-based points within his life.  When asked if he was ever baptized, Graves brings up a lewd encounter that he had with a woman which causes Grover to throw up.

One week later, Dante and Randal are working at the building by themselves as Hicks appreciates this.  However, Graves wines about having to work the morning shift since he got to lazily open the video store closer to noon, along with him losing his appreciation towards Mooby’s food since he now knows what goes into them and Elias’ constant pestering of him concerning Transformers.  He also mentions how much he’s become annoyed of Becky’s constant scolding of rules over him before a father walks in with his son and orders some food.  While the man is able to pay, he suddenly has to use the restroom as he asks the workers to watch his kid.  From there, Dante uses a Mooby doll to keep the boy occupied before Randal interjects about the ironic contradiction of the restaurant’s campaign jingle.  He mentions that hamburgers are made from cows, so the business has their customers “singing about eating Mooby”.  This starts to make the kid upset as Hicks attempts to rectify it, but Graves continues to act like a heartless jerk by mentioning how “Mooby” is mainly in a confined stall eating “the ground up remains of his brothers & sisters” and that he only gets to use his legs when he gets struck with an electric cattle prod.  From there, he gets struck in the head with a “slaughter-shoot” before getting butchered and grounded up into chuck beef.  The kid ends up crying as Dante gets furious at his friend, yet it doesn’t prevent Randal from vaguely mentioning what gets put into Mooby Dogs.  The father then returns from his restroom run before his son attacks him in an emotional fury.  The dad then gets angry at our main men, yet Graves redirects the blame towards him for leaving his kid in order to use the restroom.  As the father takes his order and storms off with his young boy, the comic ends with Hicks glaring at his friend even though Randal simply says that he may start to enjoy working at this place.

Before we get to our last batch of comics for this retrospective, let’s briefly talk about the final third of the films from this overall series.  Seven years after the last entry, an animated venture came around via a Kevin Smith-hosted touring show that initially began on April 20, 2013.  With this being the only flick within the entire line to not be directed by Smith himself, this Steve Stark-directed outing called “Jay & Silent Bob’s Super Groovy Cartoon Movie!” mostly adapts the aforementioned “Bluntman & Chronic” trade paperback along with the “Derris Affair” tale from Oni Double Feature #12 throughout its first half in order weave a yarn about our familiar stoners winning a fortune via a lottery ticket.  With their newfound cash earnings, they decide to become superheroes before they go up against a team of supervillains.  Made on a budget of $69,000, this SModcast Pictures and Phase 4 Films venture would get some limited form of physical media while mainly becoming available via certain streaming sites.  Moving on, the series would ultimately return to theaters thanks to Saban Films.  “Jay & Silent Bob Reboot” got a limited theatrical release in North America on October 15, 2019, and told a tale where our stoner duo learn that a rebooted Bluntman & Chronic movie is being made through Saban Films.  Not only that, both Jay & Silent Bob are also legally not allowed to use their own names.  As such, they travel to the California-based Chronic-Con in order to prevent the movie from coming to be since a key scene is actually going to be filmed at said convention.  Along the way, they briefly reunite with the former diamond thief herself named Justice as she reveals that she and Jay actually gave birth to a daughter named Milly.  While being requested by Jay to not reveal this connection to their baby girl, Milly sneaks her way onto our main men’s cross-country trek with a small group of friends in order to help accomplish a certain goal at said convention.  Made on a $10 million budget, it only grossed just shy of $4.7 million while receiving a mixed-to-positive critical response.  Finally, the series’ initial batch of characters would come full circle with the release of “Clerks III”.  Receiving its limited theatrical release in America on September 13, 2022, via Lionsgate, Randal suffers from a heart attack and realizes that he hasn’t done much with the majority of his life.  To leave his mark on the world, he decides to make a movie about the work lives of both him and his friend Dante.  Even though Hicks is able to help his friend out, he’s dealing with the emotional weight of losing Becky and her unborn child via a drunk driver.  Made on a $7 million budget, it would only manage to rake in $4.7 million while receiving mixed-to-positive reviews from critics.

With all of that of the way, we now begin the final length of our historical journey through the series’ comic-based history as Dark Horse Comics gets its turn to provide the publication assist.  Published from November 2022 to February 2023, this four-part tale called “Quick Stops” sees Kevin Smith once again in the writer’s chair as this is also a joint project alongside his own publication company called Secret Stash Press.  Joining him for this run is a different artist for each issue as Jeffrey Simser, Phillip Hester (with Ande Parks on inks), Tango and Ahmad Raffat get their individual shots with each book.  As for the various stories that all of these men provided its readers, let’s venture back in time and find out.

We open at Chronic-Con (specifically during the events of “Jay & Silent Bob Reboot”) where a special panel is being held within a tale called “Holden Back The Years”.  During the panel, it’s announced that the in-universe comic book called “Chasing Amy” is getting its own live-action series on Netflix.  It’s soon revealed that Holden is the featured celebrity for said panel and is also recording this for his podcast called “Bluntman Beyond”.  Not only that, but he’s also joined on stage by Alyssa.  With this being the first time that he’s being interviewed on his own podcast, he soon takes one last question from a fan named Sean Hartle.  McNeil soon recognizes his shirt and discovers that he’s also from New Jersey as Sean explains that he’s from Middletown and that he used to be a regular customer at Comic Toast over at the Eden Prairie Mall until another comic book business called Secret Stash opened in Red Bank.  He also mentions how he knew Brodie ever since high school and that particular longtime friendship along with Steve-Dave’s rude demeanor made it easy for him to switch stores.  McNeil says that he can relate with being a former Comic Toast customer, especially since Steve-Dave looked down on his own self-made comics.  He then recalls a moment at Comic Toast when the second Bluntman issue came out.  Steve-Dave talked a lot of smack about the book in front of its creators, which got Banky furious enough to write a $5,000 check, tape it to a garbage can and smash it through the store window.  As a result, Steve-Dave never said anything bad to them ever again.  After a bit more of their back-and-forth chat about the part of Middletown that our central people and the attendee come from along with the man sharing his appreciation towards the Bluntman comics, he then asks Holden how he came up with said characters to begin with.

After mentioning how the actual Jay & Silent Bob were his inspiration, he begins to share his story as he reveals that he used to work at the famed Leonardo-based Quick Stop for a whole month and during the Summer before he went to college.  Because there were hardly any customers, he got to practice his drawing skills.  Just then, he’s approached by Jay & Silent Bob as the former crudely pulls out his testicles before they purchase some “wraps”.  As they get into a discussion about the film “Scarface”, Jay rolls up his own blunt before offering it to McNeil.  He initially declines since he doesn’t smoke it in public, especially not right now out of fear that a cop would stroll by.  Fortunately, Jay mentions how they can smoke inside the freezer.  As he continues to share his story at the panel, Holden reminds his audience that Marijuana wasn’t legal back then as it is nowadays before we return to the tale as Jay preps the blunt before mentioning McNeil’s store-based smock.  From there, Holden smokes it before it ultimately gives him some influential inspiration.

He sees our stoner duo as Bluntman & Chronic within their hideout called the Blunt Cave while he’s physically there within a drug trip.  Soon enough, the call to heroic duty comes along as our heroes reach their vehicle (which I assume is called the Bluntmobile) and head out.  McNeil is hanging on for dear life since he wants to be brought back to his store, yet he’s instead given a mask in order for his identity to be kept a secret.

We then shift over to a familiar mud pit from “Batman: The Dark Knight Returns” as Cock-Knocker has taken on the role of Mutant Leader while his army of Cock-mandoes assume their part as the Mutant Gang.  Cock-Knocker demands for our heroes to face him before they arrive to fight him.  With Chronic getting taken out via a punch to his groin, Bluntman ultimately takes him down within a brutal submission.  With their leader defeated, the Cock-mandoes then declare their allegiance to Bluntman.  Afterwards, Chronic recovers and asks Holden for his smock in order to wipe the mud off of his face.  Because he was in his drugged stupor, McNeil naïvely hands it over before our signature stoners flee.

As we shift back to the present, Holden says that he never got his smock back and got fired as a result which he was glad for since he went off to college a week later.  However, he would drop out of college during his sophomore year in order to go into the comic book business with Banky.  From there, they would publish their first black-and-white book called “37” which was all about his summer working at the Quick Stop.  It would go to become an Eisner Award-winning comic and helped the two men reach new celebrity heights at Comic-Con along with professional heights since it got them signed to a comic book company called Contender.  From there, he and Banky would set up their own studio before they created a book based on Holden’s Quick Stop experience with Jay & Silent Bob inside the cooler.  Sean then asks him if the actual Jay & Silent Bob have ever said anything about their fictional counterparts, to which McNeil mentions that he showed them his initial pencil work before Silent Bob negotiated a deal with him for the rights to their likenesses.  From there, the whole kerfuffle from “Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back” went down before they received loads of money from the whole ordeal which they spent a good portion of flying to the various people who talked smack about them online in order to beat them up.  Hartle then asks him if they have any thoughts about the upcoming B&C reboot, to which Holden says that he hasn’t heard about what they think of it since he hasn’t seen them since the initial movie.  Afterwards, Alyssa mentions that she’s now pansexual while McNeil identifies himself as a “dad”.  From there, the panel concludes with the announcement that the B&C Reboot shoot is coming up.  As Alyssa heads out to use the restroom, the comic ends with Jay & Silent Bob being chased before they hide in the panel room in time for them to have their cinematic meet-up with Holden.

For our next story called “Waking Walter”, Issue 2 takes us to the early 1990s as we begin at Paulson’s Funeral Home in Atlantic Highlands, New Jersey.  As Randal approaches it, he’s soon met upon by Gwen Turner who actually offers to have sex with him over at her parents’ house since they’re not home.  Graves is forced to initially decline since he has to attend his cousin’s funeral.  Specifically, it’s his cousin Walter who passed away.  Gwen then offers for him to come over afterwards as Randal says that he’ll possibly see her later.  When she asks him about how Walter died, Graves simply mentions how he wasn’t “gentle with his wiener”.

He then heads inside and gets a pair of Walter’s funeral cards before he’s met upon by another one of his cousins who turns out to be Brodie Bruce himself.  With neither of them properly dressed for a funeral, Randal mentions how he loves gatherings before bringing up his recent meet-up with Gwen.  From there, they engage in a lengthy sex-based conversation before Bruce asks him how he tells others about how Walter died.  Graves simply says that their cousin broke his neck trying to suck his own wee-wee before they both head up to pay their respects.  Brodie then says that the way Walter lost his life is embarrassing for their family, yet Randal tells him that it can’t be any weirder than Walter’s own life.  Eventually, they reach the casket and see Walter’s lifeless body.  Bruce then mentions how he doesn’t share the same “central preoccupation” that Walter had, to which Graves reminds him that it’s comics.  Brodie then mentions that he also acquired a pair of Walter’s funeral cards.

Eventually, Randal mentions how they used to be vigilantes for a whole week as Bruce recalls this moment during the Summer of 1989 after they saw Tim Burton’s Batman.  With both of them dressed up in long leather trench coats and sunglasses, they drove around town looking for crime within their area.  During this, Randal asks his cousin what they’re supposed to do after they stop a crime as Brodie decides that they’ll find someone within the police who can be their James Gordon.  Graves then wonders if this goes against their vigilante code since they would still be handing the bad guys over to the police, to which Bruce says that this helps them preserve justice in order to prevent tragedies from being inflicted onto kids.  Randal then brings up that neither of them had lost their parents before calling his cousin spoiled due to his extensive “comic book vault” of a collection.

Suddenly, some paint slams onto the car as they stop and get out to investigate before they discover that it’s in the shape of a ding-a-ling and testicles.  Afterwards, they’re met upon by the culprit who turns out to be Walter and that he’s calling himself Count Cockula.

He then takes a picture of his handiwork before he awkwardly makes his escape.  Our main men then follow after him before they arrive at Aunt Connie’s house.  From there, they burst into his room as they discover Walter on his bed and in a bizarre position as Graves discovers that he was trying to orally touch his wee-wee.  He then embarrassingly tells them that this could’ve been the best night of his life and that he would’ve gotten away with it if they hadn’t intervened.

We then shift back to the present as they both tell each other that they were lucky to been related to and to have known Walter.  From there, Issue 2 end with Randal saying that he has to get ready for a job interview over at RST Video and that he plans on working there for a few months until he finds a better job since their cousin has taught them that life is too short.

Issue 3 then takes us to 2005 for a story called “Pious Elias & The Crypto Kid” as we kick things off at a Bible Camp where Elias makes a long speech (along with presenting a flow chart that he made with “Miss Myra”) about how Transformers aren’t sinful and that they’re “a gift from God”.  He then concludes the campfire session with a prayer to longtime Optimus Prime voice actor Peter Cullen, much to the annoyance of most of his fellow campers as one of them even says that she thought that they were going to watch the animated Transformers movie.  As their fellow campers head out in disgust, Elias and Myra Hodgekiss put out the campfire while he tells her that he appreciated her flow chart to which she says that she made it for him.  He then mentions how they’ve been going to this Bible Camp for the last five Summers and now that they’re both 18, he begins to share his emotional feelings for her and requests for them to have sex together.  Even though she does appreciate him, she tells him that they can’t make love at this time.

She then makes up an excuse by explaining that she has a certain troll that lives within her nether region and that a girl’s parents regularly places this being into them at a young age in order to prevent them from having premarital sex.  She also says that they have to wait until she turns 21 since she’ll be able to pee said troll out of her body and that if they tried to have sex right now, it would bite his ding-a-ling off.  Despite the three-year wait that they’ll have to go through, he naïvely accepts her request since they’ll still be friends.  As they head back to the main house, she then tells him that she’s named her troll Pillow Pants.

We then shift ahead to 2022 as Grover shares a Bumblebee-focused Transformers story to some new campers during Counselor Orientation Night as Myra and her fellow friend watch this from afar.  The friend named Odessa mentions that this story is from an actual Transformers movie and also says that he’s going on 36 years old, yet Myra still finds his fandom cute before they discuss how he’s most likely still a virgin.  Odessa then asks her why she’s curious, to which Hodgekiss says that she’s slept with several guys and that all of them were dishonest in various ways.  As such, she would like to try sleeping around with “a nice guy” for a change.  From there, she steps in and tells her fellow counselors-in-training to bring a similar level of story-telling energy that Elias displayed to their upcoming follies show of Lin Manuel Miranda’s Old Testament-based play called “Abra-Hamilton”.  She then tells them to meet up with Odessa so that they can be assigned to their veteran counselors.  Afterwards, she informs Grover that she’s personally assigned him “a special counselor” for him to train as it turns out to be her shy cousin named Coltrane.  She explains that his silence possibly stems from some post-traumatic stress disorder that formed from others yelling at him to be quiet.  From there, she tells Elias to meet her at the boathouse tonight in order to inform her about his progress before she heads out.  Grover then asks Coltrane why people have constantly told him to shut up, to which he simply mentions Non-Fundable Tokens and that he’s into Cryptocurrency due to hearing a few notable celebrities believing that “Centralized Banking Institutions” have way too much control over their money and that finance’s future is both “online & unregulated”, which ultimately gets Elias curious.

Later that night, he makes his way to the boathouse where he comes across Myra who’s stripped down to some underwear and a Transformers shirt.  Not only that, but she’s finally ready to have sex with him.  He then asks her about Pillow Pants along with a supposed Mouth Troll named Listerfiend, to which she assures him that both trolls have long since been expelled from her body as she even allows him to touch her in order for her to know what he’s thinking about.  Unfortunately, her cousin’s NFT beliefs have taken a firm hold over Grover as he shares his newfound influence with her to the point where he mentions how his new friend goes by Blockchain.  He then mentions that Coltrane babbled on non-stop for several hours about Cryptocurrency before some random person walked by and finally got him to stop talking.  However, Coltrane continued his NFT talks via a whisper.  Myra then tries to break things up by whispering some dirty talk into Elias’ ear about a certain “job” that he can perform, yet he naïvely says that he already has a job at Quick Stop before he returns to talking about his new Cyrpto lifestyle.  Ultimately, Hodgekiss gets annoyed by all of this as she gets dressed and walks off.

From there, Issue 3 ends one month later as Graves arrives to find Grover by himself due to their fellow co-worker being at the bank in order to make some deposits.  He then brings up how he met Blockchain Coltrane over at Bible Camp along with Pillow Pants no longer occupying itself inside Myra before making a reference to his Bumblebee-based story.

Issue 4 closes out this initial series on a yarn called “Sticks Nix Hicks Pix” as we begin at the Quick Stop Convenience Store on June 26, 1992.  Specifically, Randal wants to come with Dante on his date even though he’s going to be taking his then-girlfriend named Veronica Loughran to his family reunion.  Hicks also tells Graves that he gave him loads of crap for moving on from Caitlin Bree before mentioning that he wants to make a good impression, so he wants his friend to hold down the store while he does this.  However, Randal wants to meet his pal’s “freaky family” at what he thinks will be “the social event of the season”.  In order to make sure that he’ll be able to tag along with both his buddy and his date, he’s hired Jay & Silent Bob to look after the store for them as the stoner duo make their way in.  Dante chastises his friend for hiring drug dealers to look after the place, to which Graves says that he’s paid them a “pack’a wraps” in order to stand in front of the store and make sure that no one goes in.  Afterwards, Veronica arrives before she, Hicks and his friend drive off towards the family reunion.  During the ride, Randal brings up Beverly Hills 90210 and tells her that his cousin Brodie is dating a woman “who looks exactly like Shannon Doherty”.  Shortly after this particular topic, he changes radio stations due to him not liking the Amy Grant song “Baby, Baby” for stupid reasons related to “Pro-Life Propaganda”.

Ultimately, they arrive at the Hicks Family Reunion as Dante says that his family tries to have this every Summer, yet he doesn’t like this due to his cousins constantly reminding him of their successful lives.  Soon enough, they’re met upon by Gill before he begins talking to Veronica about colleges.  He then begins to try and woo her away from her current boyfriend, yet Graves manages to intervene and break it up.  Back at Quick Stop, a guy tries to enter but finds the front door locked as Jay and Silent Bob approach him.  The man mentions that he wanted to purchase some cigarettes, yet they convince him to buy some weed from them instead.

Over at the Hicks Family Reunion, Randal asks his friend why his parents aren’t here as Dante explains that his dad doesn’t like his uncle and thus, they’ve skipped this reunion.  Afterwards, they’re approached by Jim who mentions that he works at MTV.  Dante and Veronica manage to walk away while Graves makes the cousin head out after sharing a story about how he had sex with a woman at his job.  Afterwards, he’s met by a woman named Roxanne who overheard the conversation and agrees that Jim is an idiot that the family can’t stand.  She then tells him that she would like to learn more about his work-based sexual encounter before we shift over to the food table as Dante and Veronica are soon met upon by a properly dressed news reporter cousin named Grant.  The cousin explains himself a bit further in that he’s the Chief Field Correspondent for the Sunday News Brief before he also attempts to sway her from her date.  As he tries to convince her to get a career in Broadcast News, he starts to inappropriately touch her before he winds up grabbing her butt.  During this, Dante has compiled a plate of food while observing all of this before he returns as she takes the plate and slams it onto Grant before taking her leave alongside her boyfriend.  Back at the Quick Stop, a woman comes along and finds the front door locked.  After mentioning that she was also looking to buy some cigarettes, Jay & Silent Bob manage to get her hooked onto some weed and join the same guy from before.

Back at the family reunion, Dante and Veronica are by themselves on a nearby grassy field as she expresses how much each of his cousins have greatly annoyed her.  She then notices that she’s chipped a fingernail as she takes out her nail polish before he takes it in order to paint his girlfriend’s nails for her.  She’s actually stunned by this as he explains that he learned how to do this from his own mother back when he was a child.  Ultimately, she admires his handiwork while he mentions how he suddenly feels like he’s “the luckiest man alive” before she suggests for them to “fool around” within her car.  Back at the Quick Stop, a police officer has arrived due to him getting a report about some suspicious behavior outside of the store.  Jay assures him that no one is smoking weed before they spot the two stoned individuals kissing each other.  From there, the cop decides to go against his duty and buy whatever they’re smoking.

Back at the family reunion, Dante and Veronica make their way towards her car before they open it up and horrifyingly discover Randal inside of it having sex with Roxanne.  Loughran orders them out of her vehicle before she chastises Graves for allowing the woman to “squirt” inside her car, to which it’s then revealed that she only had sex with Randal due to her husband Grant being a “sexually unsatisfying man” to her.  Soon enough, he comes along as does Gill and Jim as they all learn about what’s just happened.  They then blame Dante for bringing a homewrecker to their reunion before they agree to beat both their sibling and his friend up.  As such, Veronica drives up in order to help her boyfriend and Graves escape.  From there, they arrive back at the Quick Stop as they find several stoned people in front of the store before Randal decides to go back to his job at RST Video.  Dante then mentions how he’ll understand if she never wants to see him again, yet Veronica isn’t ditching him due to his fabulous manicure skills as she’s eager to see how he handles giving her a pedicure.  After they share a kiss, the series ends with him approaching his job before Jay tells him that “the Quick Stop guy” is out.

We now enter the home stretch as Dark Horse and Secret Stash provides us with one final mini-series called “Quick Stops: Volume 2”, originally published from December 2023 to April 2024.  Unlike the anthology format from the prior four-issue strand, this certain stack would explore the origins of a certain in-universe fast food mascot.  While Kevin Smith continues to provide his usual writing responsibilities, Ahmad Raafat takes care of the artwork for all four parts.  As for how this part of the Askewniverse will be properly explored, let’s step up to the counter for one last order and see what comes out of this kitchen.

Collectively, this overall tale is called “Cash Cow: An Udderly Adults-Only Origin Of Mooby The Cow” as we kick things off with Chapter 1: “Making Moo-Schiff”.  We open in October 2023 at the Goldruff Household in Highlands, New Jersey as our familiar Muslim girl named Kayla Kareem a.k.a. Jihad is let in by Nancy Goldruff in order to interview her for her Mooby-themed podcast called Mooby Tuesdays.  With the Mooby franchise about to turn 35 years old, Jihad is looking to share the origin of its creation to the world especially since there’s surprisingly no online information concerning Complex Corporation’s signature character.  From there, Nancy begins to share her tale as she kicks things off in 1989 where she worked at a Catholic school called Saint Maria Goretti’s as a kindergarten teacher.  As she gets her students to line up in order to ultimately head back inside, it’s then revealed that her husband also works here as the school’s art teacher.  Just then, she notices that one of her pupils hasn’t joined up with their classmates.  She soon finds the young boy named K.P. sobbing as she heads over to learn what’s bothering him, to which the kid explains that an eighth grader made fun of his physical appearance.  In particular, the bully told him that his chest had bigger boobs than the Virgin Mary and even called them “Moobies”.  As Goldruff comforts the kid, she narrates how K.P. was going to carry this emotionally damaging cross for the rest of his life.

This lingering thought would still be on her mind, even while she and her husband named Nick are watching a porno while they have sex themselves.  After their make out session, they have a conversation where he’s constantly rented lots of porn films (presumably from RST Video) and she wants them to slow down on that for a while in order to avoid other people possibly finding out since they work at a Catholic school.  However, he has no intention of doing so despite their occupations since they vowed to never change who they are.  When she asks him who they are exactly, he says that they’re a married couple who like to look at porn while they have sex.  As such, he won’t let their jobs change the fact that they both like boobies.  Just then, that notion gets her down since it reminds her of K.P. as she brings up how the kid was bullied for his “man-boobies”, and it broke her heart as well.  As such, she wants Nick to help her cheer the child up with a drawing that she’ll describe and that he’ll be rewarded in return.

Later, he’s hard at work creating a character before it’s revealed that his “reward” for doing this was her giving him a blowjob at the same time.  She then checks out what he’s made as he shows off a humanoid cow, to which she tells him that it’s too fat especially since she wants K.P. to feel better.  As such, she requests for Nick to make the fictional bovine “thinner and happier”.  He then mentions that cows are girls and asks how this is going to help the kid’s self-esteem, to which Nancy says that she just wants a character that will help ease the stigma off of the hurtful nickname that was given to the child.  As such, she resumes her sexual act while he gets back to work.  Back in the present, she shows the drawing that he made to Jihad as the young girl is stunned by the somewhat-dirty nature of how the familiar character initially came to be.  While Goldruff gives her more tea, she proceeds to continue with her backstory.

Over at Saint Maria Goretti’s, Nancy presents the Mooby drawing to K.P. as she describes the figure as a sweet, brave, funny and loyal cow who hails from an “enchanted pasture”.  In addition, she says its name is nice since the character is kind with everyone from his land and wants to be their friends.  When the child asks her who Mooby wants to befriend, she then presents drawings of other beings that her husband made.  In particular, a monkey king named Pat-Pat, a bible-quoting Catholic aardvark named Enoch, a humanoid duck named Surly who doesn’t fly south for the winter and a tiny cat named Little Eddie that actually lives inside Mooby’s mouth in order to clean it along with providing him with some advice.  She then presents an antagonistic bull named Bully who harmed Mooby’s feelings with some verbal taunting, yet the central bovine remembered that one bully would never be able to compare to having “four fantastic friends”.  As such, they would join forces and banish Bully from the Enchanted Pasture forever.  With all of this helping K.P. feel better, he rewards his teacher by giving her a hug.

Later that night after she has another sex session with her husband, she tells him that his drawings made the kid feel better.  Just then, their doorbell rings as they get dressed and discover a chauffeur that’s going to take them to Buttermilk Valley in order for them to meet Lyndsey Montigrave.  Later, they arrive at the estate as Nancy narrates about how it was the home to an heiress who was also the Chief Financial Officer for the Complex Corporation, which dabbles into various forms of media including the food service industry.  As she and Nick head inside, they’re soon met upon by Lyndsey as she offers them a drink.  He asks for some whiskey before Montigrave mentions that her dad came from Saskatoon and only consumes said drink if it comes from Canada.  She then says that she keeps some Wiser within her bar before Nancy says that her husband can have that since it’s his favorite drink while she’ll take some wine.  After Goldruff comments about how wonderful the house looks, Lyndsey says that she doesn’t get too much time to enjoy it since she constantly works late at her office and has to stay over at her city-based apartment as a result.  However, she does mention a key moment where she was able to get out of work early and return home to find her son named K.P. being very happy.  With the couple stunned by the kid’s family connection to her, Montigrave says that while she’s a successful power broker at her job, she feels powerless at home when her son was emotionally distraught since she obviously couldn’t buy her child’s pain away.  She then mentions how the Mooby drawings managed to help her kid feel joyful and that their stories had a positive effect on her boy since Mooby also had to deal with a bully before realizing how much his friends cared for him.  While she normally works for a corporation that commodifies art for financial gain, she actually saw the medium in a different light since it helped “save a life”.  As such, she tells the couple that she wants to publish their Mooby story.  She expounds by mentioning how Complex Corporation publishes loads of children’s books every year, yet none of them have that profound impact that their story had on her child.  With her belief that there’s several more kids like K.P. out there that could benefit from this positive boost to their self-esteems, she offers to help them publish “Mooby Meets A Bully” and let them get “crazy rich” as well.

Ultimately, Nancy and Nick accept her offer as we shift over to a montage where over the course of a month, she would be working as a kindergarten teacher during the day before spending her nights at Buttermilk Valley fleshing out the Mooby concept alongside her husband with Lyndsey.  In addition, the couple allowed Montigrave to get a taste of how “regular folks” lived by introducing her to a food truck that they loved due to their tasty gyros.  Then one night within the mansion’s kitchen, Nancy drunkenly tells Lyndsey that she and her husband love to watch porn while they have sex in what seemed to be innocent flirting.  Then came a certain day when Montigrave and our featured couple presented the fleshed-out Mooby concept to Complex Corporation where it ultimately gets the green light before all three of them celebrate this triumphant success.  Then came a rain-soaked night when all three of them returned to the mansion before they’re met upon by K.P. who wants some chocolate milk despite it being his bedtime.  Lyndsey tells her son that it’s too late for him to have said drink, yet Nancy can help him get to sleep.  From there, she tells another Mooby story that cheers him up and finally helps him doze off.  After Nick mentions how the kid has a fireplace in his bedroom, Montigrave then offers them into her bedroom in order for them to check hers out.  Shortly after they arrive however, she then presents them with some cocaine for them to take.  While Nick immediately takes some, Nancy narrates about how she’s never consumed that drug before and that Lyndsey fancied herself as “the teacher” while viewing Mrs. Goldruff as “the student”.  As Nancy gives into the temptation and snorts some Coke herself, Issue 1 ends with the seedy situation beginning to unfold as Montigrave begins to include herself within their sexy good time.

Issue 2 (“The Milkmaid’s Misteaks”) begins back in the present as Kayla confirms with Nancy that she, Nick and Lyndsey ended up intertwined within a ménage à trois with each other.  As we shift back into her story, Nancy said that it initially started within Montigrave’s bedroom before they spent the whole spring engaged in this sexual activity not just within the confines of Buttermilk Valley, but even across town.  Nancy would be around to comfort K.P. with a Mooby story whenever he had trouble sleeping, yet little did she know was that their “sex games” wouldn’t necessarily pause just because she wasn’t around.  Through time, this whole ordeal “felt so free” since they were professional collaborators with the Mooby books while also looking after the child by day before they indulged into decadence at night.  On one particular evening when they were hanging out by the pool after another three-way session, Nick makes a lame joke before he jumps in.  Lyndsey would laugh at it before a chilling realization came over Nancy.  As Montigrave also got into the pool, Mrs. Goldruff narrates about how she should’ve taken charge at that moment, yet she shied away and snorted some cocaine instead.

Things started to become even more serious when she then mentions in her narration that Nick “played hooky” from his teaching duties in order to attend a meeting with Lyndsey and an animation director.  Even though the session initially took place at lunch, he ends up sneaking back into his house at 1am as Nancy hears him coming in and demands an explanation especially since she didn’t hear from him throughout the whole day.  He says that the day got away from him before mentioning some details for the upcoming Mooby cartoon, but she doesn’t get distracted by this and wants to know where he’s been ever since the afternoon.  He mentions how the meeting went incredibly well before Montigrave wanted to take the remaining day off in order for them to celebrate.  Following some drinks at the White Horse Tavern, they went to a dance club in order to talk about Mooby.  Nancy then tearfully asks him if they had sex, to which he admits to it since they were both on a drunken high.  Having just discovered that he cheated on his wife, Nick tries to smooth things over by saying that they’ve both had sex with her all the time.  However, Nancy reminds him that they usually do it with her together, yet he bumped uglies with Lyndsey by himself.

As such, she gets dressed and drives off through a rainstorm towards the Buttermilk Valley-based mansion in order to confront Montigrave on this horrid turn of events.  Lyndsey confidentially shows off a new Mooby doll while also wearing a new Mooby shirt, yet this doesn’t distract Nancy from calling her out for having exclusive sex with Nick.  In order to prevent this ruckus from waking D.P. up, Montigrave offers to continue their discussion within her bedroom.  Later, she preps a drink while Nancy demands to know why she would sexually engage with Nick behind her back.  Lyndsey tries to offer her a drink and a pill while telling her that even though she’s a kindergarten teacher, she’s done some scandalous things within this exact room.  While Nancy does accept the drink, she says that she’s pulling out of their deal because of this surprise affair.  Montigrave says that she can’t do this since the children’s book is only a month away from getting published along with a Mooby-based TV show coming to fruition, Nancy mentions how this is about her own marriage and that while she hopes to someday forgive Nick for what he did, she’ll never forgive her for doing this behind her back.  She then says that because she didn’t sign any contracts with Complex Corporation, she’s reclaiming her Mooby idea and ending all business partnerships with her.  However, Lyndsey begins to turn the tables as she initially kisses Nancy before telling her that the only reason that she’s furious is because she wanted to have her “all to herself”.  Because Nancy did consume the drink and the pill, her better judgment was dulled and she wound giving into Montigrave’s sexual advances.

Back in the present, Jihad is amazed by what she’s been learning about Mrs. Goldruff’s backstory and that it could go beyond her podcast in order to become a documentary.  She then expresses her own astonishment over the fact that this was never shared before, to which Nancy simply says that no one ever asked before refilling the young girl’s teacup.  The interview then continues as Mrs. Goldruff recalls the morning after her own affair with Montigrave as her drunken slumber gets shattered by a pair of police officers who suddenly burst in and tell her that she’s being taken into custody.  Lyndsey then comes in with her teary-eyed son and says that she hired her kid’s kindergarten teacher as a part-time babysitter while she regularly worked all night at her job, yet she “found” K.P. crying and his face bruised before discovering Nancy passed out on her bed covered within “the remnants of a drug-fueled orgy”.  Mrs. Goldruff says that she would never abuse the boy before she gets arrested for child endangerment.  While in prison, she used her phone call to try and contact Nick to no avail.  Because nobody was there to bust her out via bail, she wound up spending the night behind bars.  After being released the next day, she arrived at the school and is confronted by the head nun who tells her that they’ve received hundreds of calls from concerned parents who demanded for them to let Mrs. Goldruff go.  As such, Nancy wound up getting fired from her job.

Eventually, she returned home where she discovers Nick waiting for her while drinking Wiser.  He then says that he was served his own pink slip based on what his wife “did to Lyndsey’s kid”.  She swears that she didn’t harm the boy, yet Nick tells her that she’s facing a minimum sentence of six months in prison.  Nancy says that she’ll get a lawyer, yet he reminds her that they were both recently fired and that they can’t turn to Montigrave for financial support due to the abusive crime that she supposedly committed.  Nancy then says that they can use the money from their Mooby deal to pay for a lawyer, but Nick informs her that Lyndsey terminated their contract due to being personally terrified of her, especially since she described the event as Nancy bursting into home, doing loads of drugs, forcing herself onto her and then beating K.P. up.  She then says that none of it is true, yet Nick angrily says that Montigrave explained it all to her and that she was terminating the entire deal as he then blames his wife for screwing this all up.  However, Lyndsey is willing to drop all charges if she simply signs away her Mooby rights.  Nick then tells Nancy that she only came up with the character’s name while he drew it.  Also, her relinquishment over her personal rights to the character would allow the franchise to move forward while he gets properly compensated for it while the only thing that she would get is avoiding jail altogether.  With her marriage, freedom and life crumbling away, Nancy had no choice but to sign the new contract before Nick demands for her to also hand over the Mooby shift that she’s wearing since it’s also a prototype.  Once he reacquired the shirt, he heads out with it and the newly signed contract while Nancy is left naked & ashamed.

From there, Nick never returned home as a week passed before she was given divorce papers.  Afterwards, she then spent the next month drowning her sorrows in vodka.  Then on one night, she found her wedding photo hanging out of a damaged picture frame that she caused within her drunken rage.  Despite her destroyed marriage, she still ventured out to the store in order to buy some super glue and booze.  During this, she overhears a conversation concerning the Canadian drink called J.P. Wiser before she comes across the same employee who’s going to deliver said alcohol to a certain person.  It ultimately turns out to be Buttermilk Valley as both Lyndsey and Nick are having sex with each other while they only wear Mooby shirts.  Afterwards, they relax for a bit while they wait for the delivery of some booze.  Just then, they hear the doorbell as they both head to the front door together.  As they open it, Issue 2 ends with them being confronted by Nancy as she holds a gun at them.

Issue 3 (“The Slaughterhouse”) opens back in the present as Kayla is stunned by this turn of events before mentioning how she never expected a childhood icon to have this dark of an origin behind it.  Mrs. Goldruff says that this is why she’s never shared this story before due to it overshadowing all of the good that Mooby had brought into the world, especially after all of the bad things that helped it get noticed by the public in the first place.  Jihad then continues the interview by asking Nancy how she got the gun, to which she explains that the delivery boy kept it within his car’s glove compartment for his own safety.  From there, we resume the backstory as she tells Nick and Montigrave that she gave the guy a blowjob in order to get his gun.  He then balked after giving her his weapon before she simply murdered him with it and stole his car in order to reach the mansion.  Nancy then tells Lyndsey that she may have taken everything from her, but she’s not going to get away with Mooby.  Montigrave then says that she can’t just bully her way into getting what she wants, especially since she personally had to be tough and spend several years just to climb up Complex Corporation’s ranks in order to become a division head.  As such, she’s not easily intimidated just because a gun is being pointed at her while she also calls out Nancy for being “a sniveling schoolmarm”.

Suddenly, Mrs. Goldruff shoots her in her leg before we briefly return to the present where Kayla is shocked by what she’s just heard.  After Nancy mentions how much blood Lyndsey lost as a result of the wound, we move back into the story where she’s stunned by what’s just happened.  Nancy then threatens to shoot her again before she turns the gun towards her ex-husband.  From there, she tells them that they’re going to negotiate before we shift over to the present where Jihad gets served some more tea.  She then says that all of this content has the potential to become more than just a documentary series and become a movie instead.  Mrs. Goldruff then resumes her story where Lyndsey is forced to write a letter of admission where she’ll admit that Nancy is the sole creator of the Mooby franchise and that she attempted to defraud her of said copyright, but she regrets her illegal course of action.  Nick then asks her about his part in all of this since he did co-create the character by drawing it, yet Nancy refuses due to him sleeping with Montigrave behind her back, made his ex-wife sign away her Mooby rights in the first place and then served her with divorce papers.  Lyndsey then hands her the newly signed document before asking for an ambulance since she’s still excessively bleeding.  However, Nancy turns her request down by saying that she and Nick only cared about having sex with each other while she metaphorically bled to death.  As such, she’s forcing them to bump uglies while Montigrave is still bleeding.

Suddenly, she starts hearing a voice calling out to her while Nick and Lyndsey don’t hear anything.  As such, Nancy orders them to stay put before she heads off to investigate.  She makes her way into the study before she ultimately comes across “the best friend a bullied kid could ever dream of”, which turns out to be Mooby himself.  They share a hug before her bovine creation gives her an order and that it involves her newly purchased super glue.  In particular, Mooby says that it’ll help a broken Nick and Montigrave “stick together”.

From there, Nancy would do just that before murdering both of them.  Afterwards, she’s met upon by K.P. who was woken up by the gunshots and had come downstairs in order to investigate.  She tells them that they were merely “playing” before escorting him back to his bed and promises that his mother & Nick will never make any noises “ever again”.  Shortly after the kid falls asleep, Mrs. Goldruff narrates about how she couldn’t risk him telling anyone what he saw.  As such, she tearfully decides to smother him to death.

With Jihad understandably stunned by all of this, Nancy then explains how she got away with her crimes.  Following her murders, she went into Lyndsey’s home office and found a contact number for Complex Corporation’s boss within the rolodex.  She invited him over and showed him Nick, Montigrave and K.P.’s corpses before presenting him with the newly formed document that allowed Mrs. Goldruff to be credited as Mooby’s lone creator along with projections of how much money the company would make off of it over the next five years.  Despite her causing this grisly scene, he simply accepts the terms and hired a “corporate cleaner” to dispose of the bodies.  From there, the initial book “Mooby Meets A Bully” would go to become a best seller while the franchise rose to financial prominence.  With the interview concluded, Kayla rightfully calls her out on her horrid actions.  Just as she’s about to head out however, she starts feeling woozy before collapsing onto the floor.  Nancy then reveals that she had slipped Rohypnol (a.k.a. Flunitrazepam) into her tea and that she’s not the first person to come along since prior journalists have visited her on an annual basis looking to also learn about her origin behind Mooby’s creation.  Because she’s constantly confessed to this, she’s always calmed by the fact that her story will never get out into the world.  As such, she starts to drag Jihad’s motionless body away while mentioning how she’ll be fed to a “hungry god”.  From there, Issue 3 ends with her being unaware that Kayla’s audio recorder is laying underneath her couch.

Issue 4 (“Sacred Cow”) begins at the Quick Stop Convenience Store as Kayla has been listed as missing for a period of time while Randal calls out the-now Satan-worshipping Elias for allowing Jay & Silent Bob to borrow his mother’s car.  Stone explains that Jay’s daughter Milly was supposed to drive them, yet she backed out at the last moment that morning with Jay mentioning that his own daughter ditched him.  As Elias wonders if his mom’s car will be okay, Graves says that he’s more interested with where our signature stoners went that they decided was “important”.  It’s then revealed that they went to an amusement park called Mooby World before we then shift over to Mrs. Goldruff’s house where it’s now November as Millennium “Milly” Faulken asks Nancy if she’s seen her missing friend, to which she’s allowed to enter.  Back at Mooby World, our main stoners are in a souvenir shop where Silent Bob is reading a description about Nancy Goldruff.  However, Jay isn’t remotely interested in how Mooby was created before they come across a stand that’s selling Moo-Skateer Hats as they buy one for Silent Bob to wear before they get on a roller coaster.

Back at Mrs. Goldruff’s house, Nancy offers some tea to Milly.  Thankfully, she admits to not being much of a tea drinker and declines.  As she looks at a picture of Kayla upon the young lady’s cell phone, Mrs. Goldruff then tells her that as much as she would like to help find her missing friend, she’s the first visitor that she’s had in “months”.  She then hands the device back, only for Milly to fumble the exchange before she crouches down to retrieve it.  Just then, she spots Jihad’s audio recorder lying next to her own cell phone before a horrid realization comes over her.  She then feigns her need to use her bathroom as she heads in and tries to call her dad, but he and Silent Bob are too busy riding rides to notice.  Milly then decides to call the police, but Nancy overheard her as she slams her tea kettle over the young girl’s head and knocks her out.  Back at Mooby World, Jay finally notices that his daughter was attempting to call him.  However, he assumes that she was trying to apologize to him for bailing on their “daddy-daughter-date day” and also noticed that she didn’t even leave a message.  From there, he and Silent Bob proceed to take a selfie with Mooby.

As night falls over the Goldruff residence, Milly regains consciousness and not only finds herself tied up within the basement, but she also discovers a Mooby-themed statue with Kayla lying beneath it.  Just then, a naked Nancy (wearing only a cow’s head) comes in and prepares to sacrifice Jihad to her supposed cow god.

Fortunately, Milly manages to wrap her legs around the crazed lady despite Goldruff being able to stab one of her legs.  Fortunately, Kayla finally wakes up as her friend tells her to run.  Fortunately, Milly manages to kick Nancy over before Jihad takes her dagger and cuts her friend free.  They then attempt to escape while they each explain how they initially wound up within the crazed lady’s clutches, but Mrs. Goldruff was able to quickly recover and recapture them.

Fortunately, Jay & Silent Bob arrive in time before they promptly beat her up.  After Jay knocks her out with her own mailbox, Milly tearfully hugs her dad before asking him how he found out that she was in trouble.  Jay simply says that it came to “Father’s Intuition”, along with both he and Silent Bob learning that Nancy lived over in nearby Highlands and that the latter wanted to get a selfie with her.  Shortly after the police arrive, the series ends on a newspaper shot mentioning that Mrs. Goldruff was arrested for her past and current crimes.

Overall, this was an eclectic assortment of books.  Starting with the “Bluntman & Chronic” trade paperback, each part manages to have its own unique feel.  Part 1 is essentially an origin for Jay & Silent Bob’s superhero personas where they initially bumble around town doing whatever they feel like before a trip to a Super Soldier testing facility with its key voluntary payouts ultimately leads them towards purchasing some winning lottery tickets and thus, it begins to set things in motion for the creation of our costumed yet still-crude characters.  It does make some nods to a few noteworthy superheroes, such as Green Lantern, Spider-Man, Daredevil, Captain America and Batman.  While it uses the first four to get some good comedic mileage, it uses the last noteworthy figure as a structural foundation that dates back to the “Derris Affair” yet gets fleshed out within this book.  The initial meandering does somewhat harm this initial part since it only seems to set up a somewhat running gag of our main stoners whizzing on some toilet paper while the provided events prior to the Super Soldier serum scene seems more interested with making some nods towards some far-more famous heroes.  Thankfully, it doesn’t bog the book down too badly since things ultimately get going by the end of said chapter due to their newfound wealth allowing them to become the lewd crimefighters that they ultimately need to become.  For Part 2, it establishes that some time has passed since all of them had come across our heroes at some point and wound up becoming villains as a result.  We only get origins for half of the imprisoned inmates, yet their provided backstories do lead to a heavy implication for the other half that all of them had identically embarrassing lives before they made their trips to similar-yet-different chemical plants that transformed them into their current selves once the super stoners dropped by for some completely unrelated reasons.  In terms of their therapist who ultimately turned out to be a supervillain herself, her origin for turning to the dark side was absolutely unexpected yet hilariously simple when compared to the mutated men that she would team up with.  To be honest, when I ultimately discovered that our female antagonist was the same woman from the beginning of the overall tale, I didn’t immediately make the connection since this was typical behavior from Jay and I automatically expected this to just be throwaway stuff.  As such, it’s actually an interesting change of pace to have a lady who gets annoyed by his sexist & sexually charged comment in order to come up with a united scheme to ultimately smite our heroes with the help of her devious male comrades.  On that note, the set-up for our main villains was funny, well-paced and allows each of our antagonists to display their own shades of crude stupidity.  As such, their initial development created a good base for them to work off of moving forward.  In terms of Part 3, our heroes continue to be meandering morons since they’re more interested in invading a sex session involving two women in the hopes of getting some bedside action.  Ultimately, it simply exists to show Bluntman in a far-more competent light towards the populace (as well as to the reader by the end of all of this) when compared to Chronic who’s more skilled with his own sex interests and his own crude talk than in developing any kind of fighting skills in order to be competent within his superhero gig.  Once we get past that scene, that’s where the “Super Groovy Cartoon Movie” deviates from this book.  While both have our villains approaching our superhero duo within their hideout and there’s some multiple deaths of at least one of our foes, the movie only bumped off News-Group & Diddler there while leaving the rest of the main antagonists alive for a comedically thrilling climax.  In this book, it’s odd that our heroes would have some kind of autograph session at their own base, yet it goes without saying that Jay isn’t exactly the brightest of beings within this whole universe.  Sadly, for all the build-up that our foes got within the second chapter, their initial development was rendered pointless when everyone aside from Cock-Knocker got squashed by the base’s main door.  This ultimately exists to show off both his and Bluntman’s own beam swords since both characters would give a longer dual within the movie that it actually tied into (“Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back”), along with the aforementioned traits of Bluntman’s competency & Chronic’s ineptitude.  As such, the book as a whole had some good initial growth, nice artwork with a colored range along with it being easy enough to make out and some decent pacing to boot, even though it does somewhat fall apart by the end.  In terms of “Where’s The Beef”, it ultimately fills in the year between the introductory burning of Dante & Randal’s initial jobs and their fully entrenched jobs at a Mooby’s restaurant.  Within this story, it nicely displays Hicks’ desire to move on from his long-standing convenience store job.  After all, it’s where he gets to meet his two love interests for “Clerks II” in Emma Bunting (the initial fiancée) and Becky Scott (the work-based boss and past flame).  Both ladies get properly introduced within this comic in order to provide Dante with his initial appreciation for this change of scenery within his lifelong career, as well as the relationship status quo that would ultimately get set up for the cinematic story.  As for Graves, this comic also shows his personal unwillingness to move on from a job that had allowed him to mostly hang around while also casually talk to his longtime friend.  Not to mention, his longstanding friendship and his initial thoughts about the potential work-based benefits within the Mooby landscape is what leads him to join his pal at the same job.  However, his annoyance starts getting compounded with the introduction of Elias Stone and his initial Jesus-loving, Transformers-worshipping personality, which only fuels his rude & crude personality towards both him along with a child that gets briefly left under his and Hicks’ watch, especially after the job revealed to him how certain fast foods are initially put together within the corporate landscape.  In the end, this certain story does a decent job as a tie-in setting the stage with some nice pacing, good jokes and artwork that’s comprehensive & solid whether it’s black-and-white within “Tales From Clerks II” or colorized inside “Tales From The Clerks Omnibus”.  Overall, this story is worth checking out even if the movie that it’s connected to isn’t the most pleasant or completely good experience that it could’ve been.  Moving on to our first set of “Quick Stops”, the anthology format is incredibly well-utilized in order to further flesh out certain sides to the whole series.  “Holden Back The Years” does a solid job in exploring a part of McNeil’s past where he used to work at Dante’s long-standing business while a key smoke alongside our signature stoners ultimately gives him the proper inspiration to create the in-universe heroes that would help kickstart his comic book creating career.  The whole “Dark Knight Returns”-inspired experience had a thrilling feel while providing its own parody-style feel to a famous scene from Frank Miller‘s famed story.  Even though the drug trip ultimately gave Jay & Silent Bob a way for Holden to ultimately get fired from his job, the whole experience, their likenesses and the success that would spawn from said influence would ultimately provide him with a decades-later assist to them once they eventually meet up with him again at Chronic-Con during the events of their third featured movie and the second one of these to be in live-action.  With good pacing, wonderfully handled comedy & genuinely good artwork, it gets this mini-series off to a strong start.  “Waking Walter” not only allows Randal to shine as a primary player within a story for once, but it was also a neat decision to make him related to Brodie since he hasn’t been able to return in any future stories due to “Mallrats” being made under a far-more high-end studio like Universal Pictures (alongside the now-twice defunct Gramercy Pictures).  Through their deceased cousin, it does a nice job in exploring a key past venture that Graves & Bruce embarked on due to the Batman movie being all the rage in the Summer of 1989, ranging from Randal’s youthful swagger to Brodie’s comic book-based coolness.  In that past event as well as the present tale, both men play off each other exceptionally well with their own batch of crude chat along with some genuine emotional range at times.  In terms of their deceased cousin, Walter Graves is show with his own brand of awkwardly adult sense of humor especially when it’s specifically concerned with his own wee-wee.  From what we see of him; it falls in line with how our featured guys saw him within a weird light while also ultimately setting up the whole career scope that Randal would find himself embarking on from the first Clerks movie all the way to his featured character arc from the third entry.  In the end, this issue may not be as solid as the last entry, but it still has loads of entertaining things going for it thanks to some wholesomely lewd humor, good artwork and enjoyable character interactions.  “Pious Elias & The Crypto Kid” allows its readers to explore Stone’s religious-fueled background along with his initial interest in non-fundable tokens that would become a major part of his character by the time “Clerks III” rolls around.  While the latter ultimately turned into a major reason why a potential relationship with Myra failed to take off, it also expounds on a certain troll that she falsely claimed to be inside her mid-region that was only briefly mentioned over in the films.  Through this whole backstory, it does a neat job in showing Elias’ youthfully naïve nature and how there’s certain parts of his life that none of his bible-based experiences has remotely trained him for.  Not to mention, Myra is also to blame for setting up her own downfall towards a possibly sex-fueled experience with Elias due to her initial white lie on why they can’t make love quite yet along with assigning her cousin to him whose own crypto-loving nature would ultimately be the final straw towards the destruction of a potential relationship that she could’ve been in since she does like Stone.  Ultimately, this tale manages to succeed on its own humble merits thanks to some good pacing, well-handled comedy and artwork that’s really good & even reminds me of Amanda Conner in a good way, particularly when it comes to how Myra is shown throughout the entire ordeal.  As for how this mini-series concludes with “Sticks Nix Hicks Pix”, it delves into Dante’s past in order to show him within his initial relationship with Veronica Loughran.  Even though Hicks’ featured cousins are in various jobs & positions within their lives that’re above what Dante is at in this moment in time, none of them are able to sway his girlfriend over to their own sides due to their individual hubris’s.  On a touching note, this also gives a retroactive explanation for why our main Hicks is able to paint Veronica’s fingernails for her especially since we also see him do this within the initial Clerks movie.  This shows him as the kind gentleman that’s always been a part of him yet sometimes gets pushed internally aside at the worst moment when he’s been in certain situations.  On a subtle note, this comic also had these two wanting to have sex with each other within her own vehicle yet it’s something that they wouldn’t get to do until the events of “Clerks III” ironically, which was a good comedic touch.  As far as Randal goes, he has his usual habit of wanting to be wherever his friend is usually at while also displaying his usual poor behavior at the worst possible moments, especially when it came to having sex with a woman who’s married to one of Dante’s cousins and also within Hicks’ girlfriend’s own car.  That moment can serve as an example towards how despite the cousins having better success in their lives, they’re not as perfect towards everything as they seemed to be.  As with Jay & Silent Bob serving as convenience store guards while still selling weed, they essentially set up a joke that slowly builds up over the course of the comic before it culminates into an absurd drug-fueled conclusion.  All-in-all, this chapter allows this four-part run to cap things off on a strong note thanks to its coherently good artwork, tastefully handled adult comedy and pacing that continually keeps moments at a good rate before having strong payoffs that caps its story threads off on such hilarious notes.  Finally, we have “Quick Stops: Volume 2”, which takes an in-universe cow-themed franchise that’s been a part of the series ever since the four-issue story “Jay & Silent Bob: Chasing Dogma” as well as the movie “Dogma” and unveils how it came to be in the first place.  For an entertainment line that’s largely known for its adult humor and outlandish circumstances, this four-part tale is among the darkest in tone that Kevin Smith has ever shared from his signature series.  Sure, “Chasing Amy” had some solid drama within its story while both “Jay & Silent Bob Reboot” and “Clerks III” had more emotional depth to balance its comedy, but this series shows a woman whose own good intention to make a young boy feel better about his own physical appearance leads her towards a devious descent once the boy’s business-minded and sexually manipulative mother comes along to help bring her idea to the masses.  Nancy starts out as a humble teacher surrounded by wide-eyed youngsters whom she helps guide towards better tomorrows, yet her own faults get displayed early on since she and her husband like to indulge each other with sex and it’s a key factor that allows Lady Montigrave to exploit both of them before they ultimate get turned against each other.  With this personal violation, it ultimately leads her to a revenge mission where her morals are forever tarnished and eternally buried within sex, blood and corporate greed.  Despite the fact that she ultimately regained control over her own creation, she’s had to prevent the world from knowing the truth.  As such, it seems like she disappeared from the public eye before somehow only allowing single reporters to come to her place in order for them to learn about her crimes before she ultimately bumps them off.  Because it only seems like she gets visited every once in a while, the constant confessions have allowed her to briefly ease her soul and not feel too bad about her crimes since she’s able to discreetly dispose of their bodies.  As for the ladies who ultimately bring her long-standing crime to a close, Milly & Jihad get their biggest times to shine since their 2019 cinematic debut and they handle their roles pretty well.  It is by pretty dumb chance that Jay & Silent Bob would ultimately come along to deliver the finishing blows to Nancy’s historically dark operations, yet this emotionally relieving ending does leave things on a satisfying note after everything that the reader goes through.  All-in-all, this mini-series combines its good artwork, dramatic twists and pretty solid pacing in order to make this read a little jarring to initial readers yet is unexpectedly a good developmental read nicely delivered from the series’ long-time creator which makes it worth making a “Quick Stop” at any comic book store to check out.

In conclusion, the View Askewniverse series is one of the most uniquely fascinating media franchises.  While it can be a bit too highly focused on sexual humor, the various ways that its multiple characters handle their various businesses makes for some unique experiences that’re somewhat unlikely yet profoundly entertaining.  If you’re within the R-Rated age range, then give the various movies along with all of these comic book tie-ins your attention since they’re worth being there for any day, whether you’re supposed to or not.

All mentioned movies were made by View Askew Productions, which is owned by Kevin Smith and Scott Mosier.  All featured comics were published by Image Comics, Graphitti Designs and Dark Horse Comics.