It Came From The Secret Stash (Part 1): The Oni Press Era

Hello, my friends.  The real world has various kinds of hurdles and pitfalls that can make us feel like we’re simply drifting through life with only our familiar friends & family members to lean on for some support.  Within some numerous moments of our lives, we can experience various strange things that allows us to appreciate all of the weird joys that our planet has to offer.  For one filmmaker and the various entries he’s provided us throughout his career, the tales he’s ultimately been able to share haven’t been limited to the silver screen.  Like most major entertainment franchises, it’s also crossed over into various kinds of media.  As such, we’ll be taking a historical look at the many ways that our familiar cast of hooligans have crossed over onto the inked & penciled panels as I proudly present to you…

Despite mainly being an adult-focused film series, it’s managed to also garner a short-lived animated series, action figures, mini figures and even comics.  This makes sense since its creators are fans of this featured medium and over the years, there’s been several stories told across a few decades set within our main Garden State variety universe and not told on any sizeable screen.  As such, let’s begin this historical look back on how this certain world was translated within these particular panels.

It all starts with a humble man from Red Bank, New Jersey named Kevin Patrick Smith whose progression towards getting his start as a feature-film director led to him making friends with comrades whom he would work with throughout his career such as actor Jason Mewes and producer/co-founder of View Askew Productions Scott Mosier.  In a 2001 interview with Comic Book Resources, Smith recalls the inspirational spark that would lead him towards his lifelong career as a filmmaker.  Specifically, he watched the 1991 Richard Linklater movie called “Slacker” which would guide him towards getting his initial filmmaking education up in Canada where he would ultimately meet Mosier.  After shooting his initial film throughout 1993 and submitting it to the Sundance Film Festival where it would garner some acclaim before Miramax picked it up for wide theatrical distribution, his career and his signature series began to take off.

Kevin Smith‘s View Askewniverse began on January 22, 1994, at the Sundance Film Festival before getting a limited theatrical run on October 19.  Made on an overall budget of $27,575 before ultimately raking in at least $3.1 million while being mainly praised by critics, “Clerks” told a day-in-the-life story focused on a convenience store employee who gets called into work on what’s supposed to be his day off.  Over the course of said day, he would constantly be met upon by a video store employee who’s also his close friend while dealing with his relationship situation along with some occurrences taking place outside of the store.  For the series’ sophomore outing, he would shift over to Universal Pictures as he ultimately worked on “Mallrats”.  Released on October 20, 1995, it told the story of a pair of young men whose own relationships have fallen apart.  As they seek respite within their local mall, they ultimately discover separate opportunities for them to get their ladies back.  Made on a budget of $8 million, it underperformed during its theatrical run as it only made $2.1 million while getting a mixed critical reception.  From there, Smith returned to Miramax in order to conclude the “New Jersey Trilogy” portion of the series with “Chasing Amy”.  Debuting at the Sundance Film Festival on January 23, 1997, before getting a limited theatrical release on April 4, it tells the story of an independent comic book artist who falls in love with a female comic book creator, even though she’s a lesbian.  Despite this attempt at a nice rapport, her past relationships and his ever-straining professional partnership with his co-working inker threatens to derail this unique twosome.  Made on a $250,000 budget, it would go on to rake in over $12 million while also receiving mainly positive feedback from critics.  While he would continue to gain some noteworthy recognition as a director, Smith would also begin to flex his muscle as a comic book writer with not only Marvel, but also for a publisher that we haven’t talked about yet on this site.  Founded within Portland, Oregon in 1997 by Bob Schreck and Joe Nozemack, Oni Press would make a name for itself within the comic book industry with some of their most notable books including Scott Pilgrim, Stumptown and Whiteout.  On that note, let’s dig into our first entry within Smith’s list of comic book projects.

Kicking things off is the inaugural book of a thirteen-part anthology series called “Oni Double Feature” which contains multiple stories per issue.  It began its run in January 1998 and would have its initial comic sell 12,059 copies.  Serving as the opening short story within this line, we have Smith himself writing this tale while Matt Wagner helps out with the artwork.  As for what our familiar characters will face within this initial yarn, let’s purchase some food for critical thought and see what awaits us when we meet “Walt Flanagan’s Dog”.

We open at the Quick Stop convenience store where our familiar clerk named Dante Hicks is ringing out items for a customer while also being on the phone with his then-girlfriend Veronica Loughran.  He tells her that he can’t meet up with her since he has to work again tomorrow night while she’s attending a sorority meeting.  He then learns that she’s going to the mall in order to check out “a cable-access game show” (as seen in “Mallrats”) as Dante ultimately agrees to hang out with her on Saturday following her class.  Meanwhile, the customer who turns out to be Silent Bob exits with his paid-for can of chocolate milk and meets up with his comrade named Jay who gets excited over his newly rolled blunt.  He then tells Silent Bob that it’ll gain them $20 from a high school student before making him hold onto the drug since he wants to avoid going to jail.  During this, Randal Graves closes up the RST Video Rental Store that he works at in order to hang out with Dante.  He manages to overhear Jay’s rant and simply calls him a junkie, which causes Jay to snap and launch into an extensively curse-filled ramble, to which Randal simply says that he’s called the cops as it forces our featured duo to take their leave.  Later that night, Jay is furious over Graves’ action against them as he and Silent Bob ultimately eat at a late-night diner.  As a good-looking waitress walks past their table, Jay decides to make a crude remark to her, resulting in them both getting thrown out.

Later, they’re sitting right in front of a house as Jay complains about their freedoms being taken away and that they must take some affirmative action against this.  However, Silent Bob distracts him with the consumption of his chocolate milk as Jay insults him enough to make him cry.  He then apologizes to his plump friend and tells him that he’s the only one in their area who makes any sense before giving him a handkerchief in order to properly blow his nose.  However, Jay reveals that he actually uses it as his “spank-kerchief” before a rightly furious Silent Bob chases him down and ultimately tackles him into a nearby fence where a little dog suddenly shows up to incessantly bark at them.  While Jay wonders who could possibly own a small dog like that, we shift inside the house where a pair of guys named Steve-Dave Pulasti and Walter Flanagan are playing some comic book-themed strip trivia.  It turns out that they’re preparing themselves for a trivia battle against a “club-footed chick” as Steve-Dave assumes that girls are automatically clueless when it comes to comic book history.  As such, he mentions how their training will help them prevail over her in their comic industry strip trivia and leave her naked in defeat.  As they look forward to their filthy fantasy along with them also getting a Stan Lee autograph, Walter’s mother comes along to bug them as she tells her son to get his dog under control since it’s been constantly barking for the past 15 minutes.

As Jay continues to taunt the dog, Walter & Steve-Dave finally head outside to confront our main duo and tell them to go away or else they’ll call the cops on them.  Because they made a few comic book mentions within their taunts, Jay tells Silent Bob that those guys are absolute dorks and that their situation is in need of a reprisal.  As such, Silent Bob empties his can before using his switchblade knife to poke a hole into it.  Jay then places a tiny batch of weed onto the hole before lighting it up, smokes it and then repeatedly blows the smoke onto the dog.

Even though it takes a while and they get stoned as a result, their plan works as they discover that not only has the dog passed out, but they also get a huge laugh out of the fact that it’s developed a huge erection as a result.  Jay then gives Silent Bob a stick and tells him to poke at the dog’s ding-a-ling.  Just as he does so, it snaps the dog out of its drug-filled stupor before it jumps over the fence and chases after them.  From the Quick Stop Convenience Store to the YMCA (the latter of which is a reference to a never-seen character named Julie Dwyer who over-exercised herself to death there), the dog is able to pursue our main men with seemingly endless endurance before they’re able to lure it back to the house and trap it back inside the fence.  Afterwards, Walter pops outside and tells his dog named Krypto to head in.  Jay then mentions how the mall is about to open before telling Silent Bob that they’ll get a drink from Orange Julius.  From there, the story ends with them heading out as Jay says that they’re never going to get stoned with a dog ever again, but they would consider getting stoned alongside a monkey.

We now shift to a full one-shot comic called “Clerks: The Comic Book”, which was published in February 1998 and initially sold 15,950 copies.  With Kevin Smith still in the writer’s chair, he gets joined by Jim Mahfood who handles the artwork.  As for the kind of illustrated venture that Hicks & Graves will find themselves on within their town, let’s pay them a visit within their side-by-side businesses and see for ourselves.

We begin within a comic book store that Steve-Dave and Walter work at as they have an extensive conversation about Sea-King’s ability to regularly talk underwater before a customer manages to butt into their discussion in order to pay for his comics.  He then mentions how the Star Wars action figures that they’re selling all have extensively high prices before asking if they’re also brand new, to which Walter says that the original trilogy was re-released in theaters and has led to the massive boom of Star Wars collectibles.  The customer says that those figures are still toys, yet Steve-Dave calls him out on his short-sightedness upon this “fool-proof investment”.  After the customer takes his leave, they both express their hatred towards him as Steve-Dave wonders about the kind of business that would ever hire him in the first place.  From there, we reveal that the rude customer was actually Randal who continues to disregard his employment duties at the RST Video Rental Store as a pair of male customers complain about the business being closed during regular hours.  Graves then confronts and antagonizes them before mentioning that he has a copy of Mighty Ducks 9 hidden inside the counter, causing the two guys to turn on each other since they each want to be the one who rents it.  Graves then steps in and tells them that the only way for them to settle this is to engage each other in a “submission battle”, to which the winner will be the one who gets to rent the featured tape.  As the two gullible men proceed to beat each other up, Jay and Silent Bob take in the fight while they hang out in front of the convenience store that Randal proceeds to head inside.

Over at the checkout counter, Dante is ringing out a customer before it’s revealed that the patron doesn’t have enough money to pay for their items while also acting naïve as Hicks tells him to place some items back on their shelves.  He’s then approached by Graves and tells him that the customers are getting increasingly stupid before he resumes his search through the newspaper’s want-ads.  Randal then discovers that his friend is looking for another job and tells him that he doesn’t want to work within their joint businesses by himself, to which Dante assures him that he has no intention of quitting his current job and that he’s only looking for some additional employment in order to make some more money.  Graves then starts getting crude with his conversation as a female customer looks at both him and Hicks in stunned silence for a little bit before taking her leave, to which an embarrassed Dante tells him to go back to his job at the video store next door.  Meanwhile, the two male customers are in the middle of their street-level brawl against each other as Jay and Silent Bob each give both young men a plank of wood for them to smack each other with.  They’re then approached by Randal who fabricates about having just called up “the homophobic police chief” and that they were just described as horrible people looking to round up “pre-teen lads”, causing them to freeze up in shock while Jay and Silent Bob are also somewhat concerned if they were included as well.

Later, Dante has discovered some expired milk within the store’s frozen drinks section before Graves discovers that a “cremated Anakin Skywalker” action figure is worth $18,000 after being originally worth only five dollars on its initial release.  As Hicks pours out the foul milk, he says that the figure can’t maintain that high of a price for long, yet Randal says that “those grasshoppers” didn’t bother to buy similar products within “an ant-like fashion” that bows towards whatever the market bears want and that they’re going to be said bears.  As he immediately realizes that Graves wants them to get involved in a scheme, Dante says that he doesn’t want to take part in this.  However, Randal proceeds to explain his proposal of them buying up several Star Wars figures before reselling them within the video rental store, thus allowing them to profit upon a franchise that’s arguably the biggest of their generation.  Hicks argues how it’s still just a movie and that the re-release has brought upon some over-exposure that only his friend and other people care about.  He even criticizes the trilogy getting a re-release when they can just watch it on video at home, yet Graves casually says he won’t allow him to chastise “the only real institution” that America has left and prevents their country “from spiraling into chaos and anarchy”.  From there, he heads out in order to set their financial plan into motion.  Meanwhile outside of the convenience store, Jay is unable to make a bystander proceed with the purchase of an illegal drug due to having already spent his money on some Star Wars action figures which causes Jay to get furious.

Over at the mall, Randal gets to a toy store called “Pry C. Toys” that’s filled with several male customers before he finds the last “Shriekin’ Skywalker Luke” figure there.  He then asks the employee if has some of the high-end Star Wars figures, to which the clerks and the overhearing customers proceed to laugh at him before Graves ultimately realizes that he’s on the receiving end of the workers’ sarcasm.  The employees then confirm this as they tell him that he’s unable to simply walk in and automatically acquire long-standing & in-demand Star Wars figures from them, especially since several of the present customers have been waiting for hours every day for the re-releases.  Randal then says that he still managed to get the last “Shriekin’ Skywalker Luke” that they were selling, yet the employees reveal that there’s already several amounts of said figure available and that it won’t reach any high price value for a long time as they & the customers laugh at him while he takes his leave.

We then shift ahead to the next day as a pair of customers complain to Hicks about the RST Video Rental Store not being open despite it being noon before Graves finally shows up and tells them that Big Choice Video is having a three-for-one sale, which intrigues them enough to make them leave.  Dante then chastises his friend for disappearing yesterday while he had to fend off “video-hungry lunatics” who’re equally furious towards him, to which Randal says that he immersed himself within “the toy game” and that he’s learned some things.  He elaborates by mentioning that he’s “learned the tricks of the trade” and that he’s aware about “the where’s and what’s of the collectible field”.  He then offers his friend to join up with him since it’ll provide some financial help, to which Hicks asks him about what he’s remotely learned about collecting in general.  Graves explains that he used to collect Star Wars figures when he was a kid (with Dante briefly correcting him that he actually played with them) and that this venture will allow them to rack up loads of money.  As for how he managed to acquire his initial batch of action figures, Randal managed to swipe it as he explains that he feels “justified compensating with the occasional unsanctioned gratuity”.  Despite being stunned by this, Hicks ultimately decides to join his friend on this venture in order to prevent him from taking away too much of the profits from this “cash-poor business”.

Later that night, they drive their way towards their destination as Graves mentions that they need to look for a certain person known as “The Force Source” since that’s their main destination for Star Wars figures in their area.  Eventually, they reach a store called “Buy Me Toys” only to find that it’s not open.  Randal says that it’s only closed to the public as he takes his friend around the back before they come across a gathered crowd in front of a loading dock in order for them to take part in their insider trading venture.  Graves then explains to his comrade that all of these guys are trying to jockey each other for the latest Star Wars figures that’ve just come in.  Dante asks him why they all just can’t come to the store when it’s open during its regular hours, to which Randal says that they would quickly run out of those “chase figures”.  He also mentions that those particular action figures are only included once per case for certain waves while other figures are made in large quantities for the casual market.  As such, they need to go to discreet places in order to acquire the more high-end figures or else they would be forced to spend way too much money to a dealer at a comic book store or a toy show.

Dante then asks why the toy manufacturer doesn’t just make more of those figures in order to reach the high demand, to which Randal says that it would greatly harm the secondary market.  Not only that, but they have a chance to establish themselves on this “illicit and immoral” practice.  Hicks then notices the ringleader of this entire operation as Graves explains that he’s Frankie Howell and that he oversees “the flow of chase figures in Monmouth County”.  He holds these transactions twice a week and will only sell the high-end figures if the individual properly pleases him.  If not or if he feels insulted, then they’ll be forced out.  He then asks Dante how much money he’s carrying as Hicks reveals that he has $275 before realizing that his comrade is making him pay for it, to which Randal promises to reimburse him.  They ultimately get their turn as they explain to a lackey that Graves works at a video store and promises to hold a copy of Mighty Ducks 9 for him if he and his friend are allowed to pass.  However, the guy says that his master has already generously given him three copies of said movie.  Hicks then wants to leave, but Randal says that he wants to get back at the two comic book store guys by crippling their action figure business and also for the petty reason of unnecessarily bending his comics.  Fortunately, Frankie overhears all of this and allows them to approach him.  He explains that most of the dealers he’s met are sycophantic kiss-ups, yet he finds their desire to bury their competitors exciting.  From there, Dante’s money allows them to have a whole box containing the 69th Wave of figures much to the shock of all the buyers in attendance.  Howell then tells them to return in a week in order to supply them with even more “unseen treasures”.

We then shift ahead two days later as over at the comic book store, Steve-Dave and Walter are puzzled as to why they’re suddenly unable to sell their supply of Star Wars figures before they notice a massive swarm of guys running past their business.  Steve-Dave manages to grab one of those men and asks him what’s going on, to which he says that the video store is selling some Wave 69 action figures much to Steve-Dave & Walter’s shock.  While several people wait outside of said business, Jay gets furious due to none of them being remotely interested of purchasing any drugs from him.  Not only that, but he discovered that Silent Bob had actually purchased an Ewok figure.  As such, Jay decides to finally take care of this situation as he drags his comrade off with him.  Within the RST Video Rental Store, Steve-Dave and Walter arrive as the latter asks Randal how he was able to acquire the Wave 69 action figures along with how he’s even in the collector’s game before Graves simply exclaims that he found the business lucrative.  After Steve-Dave and Walter discover that he’s selling some exclusive figures, they realize that he’s seen Frankie Howell and that he won’t be the only one who’ll get this exclusive wave since they’ll receive their supply next week.  Eventually, the new delivery is en route to Buy Me Toys.  Just then, the driver spots some “good ol’ boys” on the side of the road and stops by to help them out.  Unbeknownst to him, it’s revealed to be Jay and Silent Bob who’re about to disrupt his run.  We then shift ahead to the next night as Dante and Randal drive over to the toy store while they mention how much this venture has been successful for them with Graves telling his friend that not only was he able to make back his initial $275, but they’ve also made a $300 profit as Hicks praises his comrade for getting him involved in this.  They soon arrive with the hope of acquiring the Wave 70 action figures as they meet up with Frankie.  Randal mentions how this venture allowed him to embarrass his “enemies” before Howell tells him that he’ll acquire access to the Wave 70 line of action figures.  Not only that, but he’s rounded up Steve-Dave and Walter to look on for Graves’ amusement.  Those guys then offer up $500 and some first-edition Magic The Gathering trading cards in exchange for some Wave 69 action figures, yet Frankie refuses their offer.  Steve-Dave then offers Walter up for him to use however he pleases, to which Howell ultimately agrees.  Having noticed that things are starting to get out of hand, Dante tells his friend that they should flee to which Randal ultimately agrees.

Suddenly, the delivery truck swerves into the area as Jay tells the potential buyers that the available action figures can be purchased in a “three-for-$5” special.  With the patrons launched into a buying frenzy, Frankie is shocked by this display before Hicks tells him that the market’s being flooded.  After Steve-Dave and Walter back out of their offer in order to join the buying swarm, Dante convinces his friend that they should end their time within this venture now that the market has gone south on them.  Not to mention, they made some money from this escapade before Graves says that they should go out for dinner.  Howell asks them if he can join them, but they turn him down as they take their leave before the comic ends with the reveal that the delivery driver was arrested under the false claim of sexual harassment.

Next up, we begin a four-issue transition towards Kevin Smith’s next cinematic venture as we delve into a mini-series called “Jay & Silent Bob: Chasing Dogma”.  Despite the relatively small number of books for this tale, its initial releases were sporadic over the course of a year and three months.  The first issue was published in July 1998, while its second & third chapters didn’t come out until October and December respectively.  As for Issue #4, that wouldn’t see the light of day until October 1999 which was only a month before the general theatrical release of a movie that this narrative would ultimately lead into.  Smith would continue to provide his effort within the writer’s chair, while Duncan Fegredo helped him out with the illustrations.  As for the kind of journey that the series’ signature duo would go on between the franchise’s third and fourth film, let’s light up a critical joint and find out.

We open within the residence of Tricia Jones as she gets a phone call from Holden McNeil where she learns about what he’s been up to since the events of “Chasing Amy”.  From mentioning how Banky Edwards is still touchy about others referring to his inker duties as “tracing” to finding out that things ultimately didn’t work for Holden and her sister Alyssa, she then brings up how somebody has been living within her living room for the past six months despite initially asking her if they could crash at her place “for a while”.  Because she has an upcoming interview with USA Today, she would like them to leave as she walks into said room as we discover that it’s Jay and Silent Bob who’re the hooligans who’ve overstayed their welcome since they’ve completely trashed this area of her living space.  With her getting annoyed by their messy antics, she ultimately gets them to wake up before letting Jay know that Holden is on the phone and that he wants to talk to him.  As Silent Bob heads out to the kitchen, Jay tells him to make some breakfast before taking Tricia’s juice to drink.  After he gets her phone, he learns that McNeil wants to meet up and talk.  However, Jay refuses to go to his studio due to how much Banky gets on his nerves.

As he reaches the kitchen, Jay offers for him and Silent Bob to meet up at the diner since he’s been getting hassled by comic book people.  After receiving a breakfast sandwich from Silent Bob, Jay agrees with Holden on an 8:00 meet-up before concluding the call and asking his comrade what else they’ll do today.  Silent Bob suggests that they can watch either “The Breakfast Club” or “Pretty In Pink”, but Jay immediately shoots those ideas down.

From there, we shift over to Tricia taking a shower while she sings the Alanis Morissette song “Ironic”.  Just then, a naked Jay creepily walks in on her as she forces him out.  Jay asks her what her deal is especially since she had sex with Silent Bob, to which she says that it was strictly for research purposes on her book “Bore-gasm”.  Jay then asks her why she didn’t use him for her research, to which she says that she’s fully aware of his approach to sex while also making fun of his ding-a-ling before ordering him out so that she can shave her legs in peace.  As she does so however, Jay decides to inappropriately touch her before she ultimately kicks both him and Silent Bob out of her home.  As she angrily tells Jay that she would never allow him to have sex with her for any reason, Silent Bob lets them know that she has some company as Jean Swellback of USA Today has arrived to conduct her interview with Tricia.  She then tells Jay to get lost before bringing Tricia and her photographer up to her place for their proper meeting.  He then asks Silent Bob what they’re going to do now, to which his plump comrade once again suggest either of the two movies in his possession before being denied again.

One hour later, they arrive at the Eden Prairie Mall as Jay whines about Tricia rightfully turning down his sleezy sexual advances before they reach a department store called “Channel Surfers” so that they can see one of the Brat Pack films that Silent Bob wants to watch.  90 minutes later as a salesman attempts to sway a plump woman from purchasing a television that allows for two shows to be seen at the same time while vainly criticizing her life choices, we shift over to our main duo watching “Pretty In Pink” as Jay says that this is the worst idea that his friend has ever done since his attempt to do the Jedi Mind Trick.  After mentioning that they could’ve been selling drugs out on the streets, he then chastises famed director John Hughes (in a bit of real-life irony) for telling “Van Damme-less stories” about near-adults doing everyday things within a small town.  Not only that, but he’s also not interested in hearing others whine and complain since he’s more-than-capable of doing that in real life before saying that he could make a movie if a film can focus on “whiney twenty-somethings” who can’t get their lives together as Silent Bob gives him the angry stare.  After the plump woman storms out while telling the clerk that she’ll report him to his boss, the same salesman finally notices our main duo as he tells them that this isn’t their personal space to watch movies.  Jay tries to take his leave alongside Silent Bob, but the clerk catches him and intends on reporting them to mall security before they wind up in County Jail.  He especially intends to follow through on this since he finally recognizes them as the same two guys who helped Brodie Bruce ruin Jared Svenning’s shot on network television while also destroying his own broadcasting career, thus forcing him to work in retail.  Fortunately, Silent Bob punches him out as our duo flees before the plump woman returns with the department store’s boss in order for the clerk to get his proper scolding.

Later, our main men are outside the Quick Stop Convenience Store and RST Video Rental as Jay kicks a can at the video store out of frustration for what’s recently happened to him and his friend.  With the can hitting off of his place of work, Randal tells them that he’s called the cops out of the false claim that they’re waving guns at him inside the store out of a threat to rent a porno from him and that they should reconsider ever hanging out in this area ever again.  As such, our main men head out while Silent Bob flicks his cigarette at the video store.  They eventually hang out in front of Walt Flanagan’s house as Jay says that he’s tired of everyone in town having some kind of beef with them before Krypto pops up and barks at them.  Despite the non-stop yipping, Jay mentions how their day has been one bad thing after another before asking his friend if there’s anything from their day that’s been remotely positive, to which Silent Bob shows him the “Pretty In Pink” tape much to Jay’s annoyance.  They then hang out at the playground as Jay continues to complain about how everybody in town is cranky to them and that he longs for some place where they can do whatever they want with no constant hate thrown at them.  Silent Bob then shows him the Brat Pack movies in his possession before Jay tells him to stop showing films about people living in Shermer, Illinois.  Just then, it gives him an idea as he tells Silent Bob that they’ll simply go to Shermer.

We then shift ahead to that evening as Jay mentions to his comrade how all of the women living there are good-looking while all the men there are stereotypical “preps and dorks”, thus allowing them to rough them up.  He also mentions that no one seemed to be selling drugs in any of the settings that John Hughes’ films showed, thus they can be successful drug dealers there.  After they get their bus tickets, they head inside the Marina Diner so that they can have their evening meet-up with Holden before taking their fateful excursion.  Twenty minutes later, our duo breaks into a mad dash to the nearby bus station where they barely manage to reach their bus.  After they take their seats, Issue 1 ends with our main men embarking on their new venture.

Issue 2 begins with the bus pulled off to the side of the road as the driver has received a complaint from a mother that our duo has been inside the onboard restroom for 30 minutes.  Not only that, but she, her son and everyone else had been forced to hear their constant moans & groans.  The driver then tells the occupants that they’re not moving and that if they don’t come out right now, she’ll call the proper authorities and have them arrested.  It turns out that Jay & Silent Bob were making & smoking joints in there as they’re both kicked off and left on the side of the road.  Jay then resumes with his constant whining about how the whole country is against them before he then rambles about being allowed to have all kinds of unorthodox sex wherever he pleases before his long-winding speech culminates with him mentioning that he’s queer.  With Silent Bob looking at him like he’s truly odd, Jay then nervously says that he can’t believe that they were expelled from the bus due to them smoking weed.  They then look over a map before they discover that they’re close to Pittsburgh as Jay looks forward to doing some crude things right before they ultimately continue their trek to Shermer.

After making their way into the Steel City, Jay tells his comrade that this place looks somewhat similar to their prior area before suggesting that they find some “hapless broad” in order for them to have a place to sleep and score.  Just then, they spot a nearby limousine and its female driver before Jay’s dirty mind convinces him to sweet talk her into giving them a ride to Shermer while also giving in to having sex with him.  From there, he dances in front of her while singing the Lisa Lisa & Cult Jam song “I Wonder If I Take You Home”, but she didn’t remotely fall for his sick charm as she grabs him by his throat, tosses him off and tells him to never touch the car.

Jay then rants at her for her action, to which she then tells him that he obviously wasn’t raised on her “employer’s daily lessons” as he and Silent Bob ultimately find out that her employer is Fred Rogers himself.  Jay changes his attitude and tells him how much his signature show encouraged him & every kid to use their imagination, along with the important fact that they’re special.  In an ironic twist, Fred slaps his hands and tells him to screw off before taking his leave.

As Jay sulks about Silent Bob not asking Fred for his autograph since it could’ve financially helped them in some roundabout way, Silent Bob notices a giant store focused on Mooby the Golden Calf and all of the merchandise on display.  Jay ultimately allows his comrade to head inside and indulge on a trip “down memory lane” while he waits outside and reads a Bluntman & Chronic comic.  Twenty minutes later, he gets asked for a match before noticing that it’s a beautiful woman.  As he lights up her cigarette, he then learns that she stars in adult movies much to his delight.  He then asks her what she’s doing in Pittsburgh since he thought that all films were made in Hollywood, to which she tells him that Porn movies can be made anywhere.

While Silent Bob admires his newly purchased Mooby hat, Jay decides to pleasure himself in order to show off his sex-making faces to her.  Just then, she mentions that she has to leave before Jay asks her if he and his comrade can go with her.  She ultimately agrees since her director is trying to find some “young, raw talent with that high school appeal that’s oh-so big these days” before telling him that he must be uninhibited.  He then gets excited over her request of allowing him to show off his mid-region to her as he proceeds to do so.  Despite his small size, she still permits him to come along as even a kid makes fun of his ding-a-ling.

One cab later, Jay asks her why they’re at a hospital and not at the porn set as she tells him that he’ll be getting implants for his wee-wee when in actuality, it is the set.  She then says that the hospital is crucial to the movie, especially since the director named Neil managed to convince the administrator into letting him have access to the third floor without going into too much detail into what they were actually filming.  They then arrive on the third floor as our main men discover that the porno movie version of the TV show “Doogie Howser, M.D.” called “Doogie Nights” is being made.  As Serena begins to get undressed in preparation for her role, our main duo is stunned to see that Neil Patrick Harris himself is also in the film before she tells him that Jay & Silent Bob have expressed some interest in joining the production.  Neil then tells her how the movie is actually a “quasi-indie film” before mentioning that our main men could be included within a fantasy sequence with the characters of Wanda and Vinny.  Jay then becomes excited over the fact that even more actors from the original show are potentially in this, but Harris informs him that Vinny’s actor Max Casella is in the Broadway version of The Lion King while Wanda’s actor Lisa Dean Ryan opted out of the production altogether.

Jay then reminds him that he was in “Starship Troopers”, yet Neil mentions how that movie was simply a “necessary pitstop” towards what he believes is his “cinematic glory” and that he only agreed to be in that film in order to properly finance his current project.  As they walk through the production, Harris tells our main men that indie movies are dead to him as he believes that they mainly consist of “no-talent film school dropouts” who only make static images of people talking and that it’s primarily devolved into “proverbial grabs” at becoming the next big thing.  He’s also under the notion that everything that could possibly be said or done has been done so and that they’ve become incredibly formulaic to him.  As such, he decided hat he could help redefine the indie flick for a new millennium.  Neil then mentions how his inspiration came from “those two pretty-boy actors” that wrote a movie that featured “Mork” and figured that he could take all of that in order to advance past “a simple tale of psychiatric redemption” in order to go beyond the realms of traditional story-telling with his “massive adult fantasia” and move past what his mentor (known as “The Great Bochco”) laid the foundation for in order to create “a spellbinding array of erotic visuals that will both captivate and repel world cinema”.  Just then, a hiccup occurs when one of his principal players named Ham is having a problem maintaining a certain feeling with his dingy and that his female co-star named Tiffany won’t help him, to which she refuses to spend more time than she wants to in terms of having cinematic sex with him before they burst out into an argument.  With this problem on his hands, Neil comes up with a solution that involves both of our main men.  In particular, he wants Silent Bob to escort Tiffany over to the Craft Service Table in order to help her calm down prior to the upcoming shoot.  While he does so, he has Jay take part in the scene in a certain way.  In particular, he’ll be pleasuring Ham with his hand.  Meanwhile within the restroom, Tiffany is on the toilet while telling Silent Bob her backstory.  After completing her grad studies, she tried to find some occupation within the private sector to no avail due to her only having a Doctorate in Chilean Literary Studies.  As such, her turn towards the adult movie business was something that “just kind of happened”.  Despite her situation, she’s not complaining too much since she has gotten some recognition for her work in the industry.  As Silent Bob provides her with some much-needed toilet paper, she then mentions how Jay physically reminds her of another co-star.  Afterwards, she thanks Silent Bob for this pleasant conversation before they proceed to make out.  Back with Jay, he’s stuck grasping Ham’s rod while the adult star talks with him about Sylvan Derris before complimenting Neil as a director.  All of a sudden, he ejaculates onto Jay’s hand and causes him to flip out as he decides to turn down this cinematic offer and takes his leave while dragging Silent Bob away with him.

From there, Issue 2 ends over in Indianapolis later that evening at the sight of a train wreck.  The Federal Wildlife Marshall mentions how their “fugitive” escaped from this site 90 minutes ago and that they have a six-mile radius.  In a line-reading that’s pretty much from a famous 1993 movie, he mentions how that must check every single building within a major radius before it’s revealed that the escaped culprit in question is a primate.

Issue 3 opens within Indiana as our main men wake up underneath a bridge due to a train rumbling by.  Jay wakes up to the sight of a hand resting on him as he tells Silent Bob to knock it off.  However, it turns out that it doesn’t belong to his comrade before the primate pops up from beneath a pile of leaves.  Fortunately, everyone calms down as the creature smiles at them before it reacts to them.

After they discover that it’s a girl, Jay assumes that they’ve come across some kind of “race of super monkeys in the heart of Indiana” and that they’re sitting on some massive government conspiracy.  Specifically, he believes that the “super-chimps” will inherit the Earth, and that humanity has been the mutation all along.  In combination with some “group of the world’s most powerful men” that’s above even the elected officials, the super monkeys will lead the way while humanity will be offered up for either sacrifice, experimentation or enslavement.  From there, an ape-fueled apocalypse will take hold as all of man’s accomplishments will ultimately pass into history.  Fortunately, Silent Bob and the primate laugh at him for his naïve ramblings as Jay runs off to find some food for himself.

Over within a nearby town, the feds are having trouble trying to locate their missing creature.  During the group’s discussion, it’s revealed that the primate was going to be used as a test subject for some “cruel medical experiments”.  Despite their situation, the group is confident that their subject will pop up against within the next 12 hours and get spotted, thus allowing them to capture it.  Despite their leader trying to convince them that it’s not going to be that cut and dry, Boyce says that it actually will be since the worst thing that could happen to them is that their orangutan named Suzanne will wind up with a kid and they’ll have to bargain with the youngster in order to get it back.  However, the Head Marshall named Sam makes it clear that they’re not going to let it come to that.  Just then, he gets informed that their subject has just being spotted at a diner.  Over in said establishment, Jay is eating with both Silent Bob and Suzanne before mentioning how a monkey has been the one thing that they’ve been missing for so long.  As such, this can finally help turn things around for them since they’ll be able to take advantage of another financial source when they get to Shermer in the form of bare-knuckle fighting.  Jay mentions how they can bounce around to various freight yard fights and have the orangutan collect bets while Silent Bob provides the punches.

However, their dream gets shattered once the diner gets surrounded by the police who order them to surrender.  Just then, Sam Gavert comes in to take control over the situation as Jay wants to immediately hand Suzanne over.  Just then, Silent Bob notices a scar upon her head and realizes the pain that she’s been put through.  Jay tries to convince his comrade to give the primate up since they’ll go to jail if they don’t, yet Silent Bob is too heartfelt to give in.  As such, Jay comes up with an idea as he spots a young boy.  From there, he & Silent Bob dress Suzanne within the kid’s clothes as they emerge and say that they only want to take their son home while they’re under the guise of a gay couple.  Sam immediately decides to let them go, yet the police captain is too wise to this poor excuse of a trick as he can see that they don’t have a human child with them and that it’s their subject.  However, Gavert isn’t as observant as him and allows our main men to head out with their “child”.

Unfortunately, he petted their kin’s head and gets a banana scent on his hand thus realizes that he’s been fooled.  As such, the police open fire as Jay, Silent Bob and Suzanne flee into the sewer.  However, Silent Bob’s girth gets him stuck as Gavert tells an officer named Coslo to shoot a warning shot into his butt.  Fortunately, Silent Bob is able to get free in time as our group is able to escape.  Afterwards, Sam tells Coslo to stay up top while he heads down.  Back with our main men, they and Suzanne make their way underground before they reach the edge of a dam.  As if that wasn’t bad enough, Gavert has caught up and holds them at gunpoint while ordering our main men to hand the orangutan over.  However, Suzanne has an idea as she grabs both Jay and Silent Bob before they all jump off.  Sam tries to jump after them, but it’s soon revealed that the creature is hanging on to a side while also having our main duo in her grasp as Gavert ends up falling to his demise.

As the cops who stayed behind wonder what happened to the Marshal, Jay and Silent Bob emerge before they’re held up at gunpoint while being asked where the “big dog” is.  They assure the officers that both Suzanne and the Marshal jumped off as the fuzz heads out towards the dam’s base before it’s revealed that our main duo hid Suzanne from sight.  Later, they all check out a newspaper that mentions how only Sam’s remains and the orangutan’s kid-sized clothes were recovered with no acknowledgement of either Jay or Silent Bob.  Once they reach a mention about a former Provasik Pharmaceutical worker named Dr. Hannah Ogee, Suzanne starts acting strange as the group ultimately realizes who they can turn to.  From there, they reach the doctor’s residence as she becomes thrilled to see the orangutan’s return.  Sometime later after they all head inside, she explains her situation to our main men.  She says that she was fired from her job after she brought up an ethical “stink” about their primate tests.  Because it wouldn’t be too long before Suzanne would no longer be useful to them, she was able to sneak back into the lab in order to fill out some phony paperwork and have the orangutan shipped over to the Chicago-based Provinsk Lab where she would pick the creature up and bring her back to her home in the rain forest.  It turns out that Hannah had purchased a piece of land slated for clearing with her own savings in order to create a reserve for all kinds of primates that’ve been forced from their natural homes by man’s own bulldozers.  When she heard about the train wreck, she postponed her trip for a whole week out of hope that Suzanne would still be alive within Indiana.  However, she initially gave up hope once she was called for a newspaper-based statement.  Just as she was prepping to get ready for Brazil, that’s when our main group managed to show up.  Jay then asks her if there’s a reward, to which she says that she doesn’t have much money left.  He then says that she can repay them through some lewd sex, but she’s able to defuse the situation by offering them a pair of bus tickets to Chicago.  Jay happily accepts as he & Silent Bob thank her and Suzanne before taking their leave, yet not before the orangutan grabs onto Jay’s crotch.  From there, Issue 3 ends with Jay ranting about how the movies misrepresent all monkeys before he and Silent Bob begin the final part of their trek.

Issue 4 begins in Chicago with a newscast about Cardinal Glick making an announcement for a religious advertising overhaul blitz called “Catholicism, Wow!” as a taxi driver returns to his cab before he discovers Jay and Silent Bob inside waiting for him.  However, the driver isn’t able to drive out of town as an argument ensues before Jay suddenly gets a positive response from the cabbie once there’s a mention of “Mac-Henry Go-Go” and is able to get their driver to move.

During their drive, Jay tells his comrade that they were able to persist in order to finally make it to their destination.  As such, he sees them as the living embodiments of the American Dream.  Suddenly, Jay unleashes a huge fart as they stop in order for Silent Bob to run into a store, buy some air freshener and spray it onto his comrade’s butt.  From there, they arrive at what they believe to be Shermer, Illinois when it’s actually McHenry before they make their way to the Alan Smith Memorial High School in order to tap into their potential “cash cow”.  Upon entering the institution, Jay tells his comrade that they’ll work their way into the school in order to ultimately wind up in detention like in “The Breakfast Club” before they break out and become Shermer’s “blunt connection”.  They then set their scheme in motion as they approach a boy and offer him some weed who rightfully runs away from them, to which they’re forced to search for different potential buyers.  Just then, they notice some young ladies heading into their Home Economics class as they look to score with them.  However, the same boy named Brian is able to point them out to his jock friend named Andy as they look to deal with some unwanted people on their grounds.

Inside the class, Jay introduces himself and his comrade before making some kind of movement towards all of them taking weed.  Although initially unsuccessful, he realizes that they still have a chance to get the ladies hooked onto their supply while also making a profit.  Just then, one of the female students tells them that the only needles they use are for sewing and not for drugs, yet they’re fortunate that the teacher didn’t catch on to that.  Jay then asks her how they’re going to properly make their drugs, to which she reminds him that they’re in a high school-level Home Economic class and thus, they’re not going to be making any drugs of any kind here.  With both of them starting to connect towards each other, Silent Bob points out a minor detail to him while the young lady introduces herself as Crystal before taking his hat in order for the teacher to be convinced enough and assume that they’re working.  She then mentions how our main men look too old to even be in High School before asking them what they’re even doing here, to which Jay says that he and his comrade are looking to get tossed into Detention in order to get some of the students hooked onto their drug supply.  He then asks her if there’s any parties going on tonight, to which Crystal realizes that he’s referencing too many John Hughes movies before letting him know that he’s not in Shermer, but in McHenry.  Not only that, Shermer isn’t even a real town but a setting that Hughes normally sets his films in.  It finally dawns on Jay that none of those movies actually happened before Crystal returns his hat to him with the added reveal that she sewed the word “Snoogans” onto it since she heard him say it earlier and found it funny, thus she decided that it would look good on him.  Just then, the class ends as she mentions that while she did enjoy meeting him, she only makes love with other ladies before taking her leave to Wood Shop.  Jay then yells at his comrade and demands to know why he wasn’t told that none of Hughes’ movies were real, to which Silent Bob isn’t able to say anything.

Jay then says that everything they did to get here was all for nothing before wondering what else could go wrong for them, right before Andy charges in and beats them up very quickly before tossing them into both the boys and girls locker rooms.  Afterwards, he tells our main men to stay out of his turf before he and his pals head out.  However, they soon realize that they’re being played for fools as they all head back in to discover that our duo has fled as Jay says that they have to switch into “some fly, dry threads” before they look for a way out of town.  Fortunately, they find some laundry drying outside as they swipe those clothes before they begin their search for a bus that will help them flee the area.

We then shift ahead to 9:30pm with our duo walking through town as Jay tells Silent Bob that this is the last time that he ever gets talked into leaving the Tri-Town area.  As such, they’ll try to return to their hometown before convincing Tricia into letting them stay over again.  Just then, they hear some metal music playing inside as they decide to check out the local band known as Forked Tongue.  Eventually, there’s a break in the performance as Jay tells his comrade that he enjoyed the show before deciding that they should hang out with the group.  Despite the group’s performance, they discover that their payment has only netted them $2.50 as the lead singer gets bummed enough to think that ’80s speed & death metal is no more.  Fortunately, Jay overheard their conversation and says that the genres are striving within them before offering to buy them all a round of drinks.  Seeing how they noticed him rocking out hard to their music along with the fact that our main men were the main reason for their paltry payout, they decide to take him up on their offer as we then shift ahead to an hour later where Jay is having a blast learning about the group’s various shows from the lead singer.  After the female member named Star offers to pleasure Silent Bob in exchange for some gas money, it turns out that she’s arguably the only woman whom he respects as he reveals that he has plenty of cash to give them in order to help them out.  However, the band leader named Core isn’t too keen for letting Star sell her body for gas money.  Fortunately, Jay compromises by offering to buy a T-shirt with the band’s name on it.  Star then admits that they haven’t made any more shirts since 1991 and the one she’s wearing is their last one.  Fortunately, she’s willing to part with her own shirt for $20 as our group ultimately agrees.  Later, Forked Tongue has packed up their van as Jay thanks them for a wonderful experience.  After he then mentions how he’s a little bummed that only he was able to get actual band merchandise and not his comrade, Star gives Silent Bob a button that she managed to swipe from famed Mötley Crüe member Vince Neil due to being “double-teamed” by him and Nikki Sixx before having them cough up $10 for it.

After the band takes their leave at 6am, our main men head out to get something to eat as they ultimately reach a Mooby’s for their grub.  Jay then tells his comrade that he’s considered for them to stay put in their current area for a few days, at least until he finally has some sex.  Afterwards, they stroll through town as Jay wonders where they can possibly locate “some loose women” before a lady suddenly dashes past them as if to answer his question and he wonders where she’s heading to.  They soon come across a protest outside of a women’s clinic as they learn that these people are against the building’s “unholy surgeons of Satan” before Jay realizes that this building is actually an abortion clinic, which could give them a chance to hook up with “loose women”.

Despite being there for a long time to the point where the protestors all ultimately went home, they’re unable to hook up with a single woman that emerged from the building.  As for the last lady who left the clinic, she suddenly gets attacked off-panel by a trio of hooded skaters wielding hockey sticks.  While Jay doesn’t want to get involved, Silent Bob decides to intervene.  And so, the mini-series ends with Jay reluctantly jumping into the fray as this also leads into the next movie.

Before I eventually talk about said film, let’s return to Tri-Town with a festive mood for the “Clerks Holiday Special”.  Published in December 1998, it went on to initially sell 41,036 copies.  Smith continues to helm his writing duties, while Phil Hester takes care of the pencil work and Ande Parks is in charge of the inks.  As for the Holly Jolly tale that awaits us within these pages, let’s hop onto our sleigh and ride on in.

We open within the Comic Toast comic book store in Red Bank, New Jersey on December 23 as Steve-Dave acts rude to a young boy and scares him off.  From there, he has a contradictory conversation with Walter about how there doesn’t seem to be any new comic book readers to help fill the void once their generation of comic book collectors fade away.  When Walter says that store owners should help kids get into their comic book stores, Steve-Dave says that kids are only interested in other things while also blaming publishers for hiring ill-qualified people to create pointless junk in comics.  As an example, he shows a comic from the in-universe publisher known as “Marvelous” called “Daredemon” and that a “movie-boy” has been put in charge of writing it in order to bring in new readers.  Even though their store sold out of said book, he only ordered five copies of it as a personal protest against what he sees as a gimmick.  He then says that they need to use “alternate interiors”, but Walter tells him that he used up the tape in order to wrap up his mother’s Christmas gift.  After they talk to each other about their own mother’s feelings towards comics, Walter then discovers that the Daredemon book has covered up its own artwork with “stupid words” as Steve-Dave says that he managed to swipe that comic from Brodie’s reserve box.  Due to their own hatred towards him, Walter proceeds to bend and damage the book.  Afterwards, Steve-Dave says that they’re going to close early in order to buy some tape before Walter asks him what store could possibly be open at this hour.

As if on cue, we shift over to the Quick Stop Convenience Store where Dante has just finished watching “A Charlie Brown Christmas” before he’s met upon by Minister Roy who’s looking to buy some milk and bread.  Hicks then mentions how the Holiday season always seem to make him a little depressed before Roy launches into a brief conversation about Regis & Kathie Lee.  Afterwards, he mentions how he just got out of the children’s ward over at the hospital where he helped the kids who’re stuck there for the season feel a little bit better.  As such, he suggests to Dante that he should visit a loved one who’s in the hospital as Hicks knows someone who’s in such an institution.  From there, Roy ironically asks him to include a Holiday-themed porn magazine before making his purchase and heading out.  Afterwards, Dante is met by Steve-Dave and Walter as the former asks him for some tape.  Even though Hicks is able to provide their request, Steve-Dave then launches into a rant about how it’s unfairly priced at $3.99.  Hicks says that he just sells the items and doesn’t “dream up the prices”, to which Steve-Dave launches into a tirade about how Dante takes advantage of people who’re limited in their free time and can’t make it to other businesses during their regular hours.  As such, the convenience store is the only shop open at this part of the day and somehow gets to have “insultingly high markups” with its items.  Just then, a customer recognizes Steve-Dave and Walter as the main employees of Comic Toast before asking them if they have a copy of Water Chick with 18 alternate pages, yet Steve-Dave ironically says that they sell it for $30 despite it only being a week old.

Meanwhile at the RST Video Rental Store, a mother vents her complaint towards Randal about how she’s going to report him to the police due to her six-year son wanting to rent the film “The Santa Clause” and instead was given a porno movie called “The Sphincter Clause”.  Graves casually shrugs all of this off as the mother says that she’s never going to shop here ever again before she storms out with her kid.  Suddenly, Randal is met upon by an old man who wishes to rent a pair of porn films before he also requests for any adult movie that features little people.  Graves says that he’ll call up his distributor while also mentioning how his wife has “bizarre tastes”, to which the customer says that he should observe his own mother’s “wish list”.  Randal then tells him that he has to be a store member in order to rent videos, to which the man says that he is.  However, Graves mentions how he’s the only employee here and that he doesn’t recall signing him up.  The man then provides his account number (1269) and that he’s listed under “Mister Nicholas” as Randal looks it up and is surprised to see that it’s in the database.  He then makes a rude comment before the bearded old man tells him that he’s now on the list and heads out.  Afterwards, Graves discovers that he’s left a business card and that his name is Nicholas Saint along with the fact that his address is 58A Leonard Avenue.  Just then, Randal discovers that the listed place is right between the convenience store and his video rental store.  As such, he locks up his business before checking out the address to his stunned amazement.  Afterwards, he runs into Quick Stop and tells Dante that an apartment suddenly exists between their stores.

Hicks tells him that it’s always been there before using a discussion about his friend’s misrepresentation of a Love Bug movie as an example about how his memory has become shaky.  From there, Dante mentions how his friend received a gift that he initially thought would be one that he would always remember and forever brandish.  He then asks Graves what he got for Christmas 15 years ago, to which he doesn’t recall.  Ultimately, Hicks reveals to his comrade that he got him a denim jacket with a Mötley Crüe album cover on the back.  He then reminds his friend that not only did he make a promise that he would always wear it, but he also made a $100 bet that he would still be wearing it after 15 years.  Randal says that he can’t be held accountable for it since he didn’t know back then that the fad wouldn’t last, to which Dante says that he’s learned two things about his friend after all of these years.  Specifically, Graves doesn’t like being wrong or part with his own money.  Randal says that he still has two days to find his denim jacket and that he would like to borrow the car in order to reach some thrift shops, but Hicks tells him to get ready to part with his money since he’ll never find it.  Also, he actually needs his car since he’s going to see someone he hasn’t seen in a long time.  Specifically, he’s heading to the Home for the Emotionally Troubled over in Marlboro in order to visit Caitlin Bree.  Later, they have some dinner at the Marina Diner as Randal tells his friend that he’s being bold with his visit after leaving her mentally scarred.  Dante says that he has no intention to flaunt since he wants to provide some Holiday cheer to someone who needs it, along with the fact that it’s been a few years since the restroom incident and is hoping that she’s gotten over it.  He hasn’t seen ever since the morning after the infamous event and that she hasn’t said anything ever since she was initially brought to Riverview Hospital.  Not only that, but her mother has also warned him to never come near her daughter ever again.  Thankfully, some time has passed, and she was moved over to Marlboro.  Graves then tells his comrade that this is also his chance to romantically move in since she gave up her marriage to an “Asian Design Major” named Sang in order to initially date him.  As such, this visit could allow him to snap her out of her catatonic state before Randal crudely tells Hicks that he can do so via sex.  Dante says that even if he wanted to do so, the staff would have him quickly subdued.  Randal then offers an alternative solution through “caning” as Dante asks him how beating her legs with a stick could remotely be “the next best thing to intimacy”.  As they drive off, Graves explains how a few years ago before his cousin Walter broke his neck, he mentioned his own sex life with his girlfriend where he used an “extra-large, extra-thick candy cane” to help turn her on.  He then mentions how even though Walter ultimately broke up with his girlfriend, she still calls him up every Christmas season for another “caning”.  In the end, Hicks says that he’s just going to settle for some flowers as he drops his friend off at his house and drives off.

We then shift ahead to late afternoon on Christmas Eve where Dante is going to bail on his convenience store duties in order to finally visit Caitlin, even though he tells Randal that the business is very slow on this day and that it still closes at 6pm.  Graves offers to look after the store, but Hicks doesn’t trust him out of fear that he’ll swipe some of the business’ money before he mentions that he’s going to leave Vincent in charge.  Randal is stunned to hear that his friend has called on the freaky “Mop-Boy” for help before Dante says that he makes sure to handle him with care and that he must be placated in order to not go off on some psychotic spree.  Just as he warns Graves to not give the guy any kind of lip since he even has his sights on his job position at RST Video Rental, they’re suddenly met upon by Vincent as Hicks immediately becomes nervous in front of him.  Fortunately, Randal confidently tells him that his friend has to run an errand before asking him if he can close the store for the day.  While Vincent essentially says that he can manage, he then mentions how he finds it “unfathomable” that the employers has allowed both of them to be in charge of their respective businesses,  He then tells Graves how perplexing it is that he’s still able to hold his job at the video rental store due to how much of a mockery to the industry he’s become and that he longs for the day that he can bury this slacker within a secluded forest.  Randal then tells Dante to go take care of his errand before dismissing Vincent to his newly assigned duty.  As he walks back to the video rental store, he then comes across the space in between the businesses and decides to knock on the door.  Suddenly, he’s met upon by an actual elf to his genuine surprise who tells him to head inside.  Over at the Marlboro Home for the Emotionally Troubled, Hicks in in the main lobby waiting to meet up with Caitlin before he has a brief-yet-awkward encounter with a patient named “Mister Schreck” who used to be a comic book publisher and mentally suffered from “late books and unmet deadlines”.

Back inside the mini-apartment, Graves is stunned to see a massive North Pole operation hard at work before he’s ultimately met upon by Santa Claus who asks him about the “special order” that he made.  Randal tells him that the distributor will have the two porn movies that he ordered delivered on December 27th before Santa thanks him for his help by taking him off of his “list”.  Graves then yells at him to explain what exactly is going on, to which Santa mentions how several scandals has forced him to temporarily move his regular operations from the North Pole, ranging from an “Easter Bunny Crisis” to having sexual-based trouble with Mrs. Claus hence why he needed to rent some porn movies for her.

Meanwhile, Dante finally meets with Caitlin as he engages in some casual chit-chat even though she’s still not able to talk.  He then attempts to mention various activities (ranging from wholesome to sexual) that he misses doing with her, yet she still doesn’t vocally respond.  As such, he decides to implement his friend’s idea as he takes out a candy cane.

Back with Randal, he mentions how none of his elves are making any toys before Santa mentions how a major problem with his yearly job stems from the fact that there’s no financial gain remotely allowed at all.  As such, he has a machine that specifically makes Christmas gifts like toys and clothes.  After learning that it can make old toys in addition to new ones, Graves is allowed to try it out as he successfully creates some Weebles.  Afterwards, Santa mentions how he’s woefully behind on production and that “the two morons” who’re supposed to implement said data are failing at their duties.  Not only that, but they’re not even elves and are actually “local hires” that convinced him into hiring them due to their ability to spell along with being able to work cheap.  It’s then revealed that those two hired slackers are actually Jay & Silent Bob much Randal’s shock as Santa tells them to hurry up.  He then excuses himself in order to take care of several duties prior to midnight as he allows Graves to stick around as long as he wants while making him promise to keep all of this a secret.  Randal then approaches our signature duo and tells them that he wants to add something to the list, yet Jay shoots his request down.  Fortunately, he instantly changes his mind when Graves offers him $20 and tells him to include “something that’s gonna ruin someone’s Christmas”.

Back over at the mental hospital, Hicks runs out of Caitlin’s room apologizing as she’s been snapped out of her catatonic state.  She then yells at him that she never wants to see him again as it’s ultimately revealed that he had placed a candy cane into her nether regions while he worriedly drives off.  We then shift ahead to 6am on Christmas Day as Dante approaches a sleeping Randal and reminds him that the video store is closed today.  Graves then asks how he wound up in his current spot while also wondering where Santa, Jay and Silent Bob have gone to as Hicks essentially mentions how he doesn’t have an explanation.  As they open up the Quick Stop Convenience Store, Randal mentions everything that he saw within the mini apartment before they spot a note that Vincent left for them.  In it, he tells Dante that he managed to restock a few beverages while also mopping the floor before he eventually explains that he punched Graves in the head shortly after Hicks had left for his errand.  As such, Hicks gets the impression that everything Randal saw within said mini apartment was all a dream.  Graves refuses to believe that as he takes his friend over there, only to find that it’s completely empty as Dante also mentions that it hasn’t been occupied for the past three months.  He then heads towards the convenience store while offering his friend to come inside for some cocoa.  After they have their warm drinks, Hicks then mentions that he’s forgoing the bet while also letting Randal know that his meeting with Caitlin didn’t work out.  From there, the comic ends with Graves coming across Jay and Silent Bob before the former tosses him a special gift which turns out to be a blunt as it’s also revealed that he’s wearing the same Mötley Crüe denim jacket.

From there, we make one last return to the anthology series known as Oni Double Feature in order to delve into a superhero tale made in-universe by our two main men of “Chasing Amy”.  Published in May 1999, this twelfth issue would go on to sell 23,548 copies.  For our featured narrative within this particular periodical, writer Kevin Smith gets to join forces with illustrator Mike Allred in order to share a certain ordeal to his readers called “The Derris Affair”.

We kick things off within Red Bank, New Jersey as a rocket suddenly flies in and crashes into a jewelry store.  Afterwards, a group of thugs fly in on a blimp as their leader named Derris has them involved in a heist of multiple diamonds.  Soon enough, the police arrive as the acting officer orders them to put their weapons down.  Surprisingly, the goons comply before Derris asks the cops if they have any machine guns as a naïve cop mentions that they don’t.  As such, the henchmen reclaim their weapons before they open fire on the officials.  Fortunately, they’re able to call for some much-needed help as they manage to light up the Blunt Signal.

Over at the Quick Stop Convenience Store and RST Video Rental Store in the nearby town of Leonardo, Jay and Silent Bob are hanging out as the former makes a sexually crude comment towards a female customer.  Suddenly, Silent Bob lets him know that the familiar signal has lit up the nighttime sky as they proceed to enter the video store.  From there, Jay distracts Randal by informing him of some customer who’s racked up a few hundred dollars in late fees and hasn’t paid them back as Graves angrily runs out.  From there, Jay pulls out every single video tape from the wall before Silent Bob pulls on the correct one as a secret door opens, allowing them both to slide down their respective Blunt Poles and into their hide-out.

Fifteen minutes later however, their British butler finds them sitting around watching TV and has to inform them about the situation stirring over in Red Bank.  However, Jay says that he and his friend purposefully hide from trouble whenever it pops up.  With their butler yelling at them to go perform their heroic duties, our main men get forced into action as they dawn their costumes in order for Silent Bob to become Bluntman while Jay becomes Chronic.  After Chronic stuffs a banana into his groin area, our main duo hops into their car and drive off towards the present danger.

Over at the jewelry store, Derris’ men have gathered up their stolen supply of diamonds before our heroes arrive to confront them.  While Chronic gets roughed up by the goons, Bluntman is able to properly beat the henchmen up.  Afterwards however, he sees that Chronic was captured and is in danger of being crushed by a boulder that Derris has hanging over him via a crane.  Fortunately, Chronic is able to roll out of the way before Bluntman throws a marijuana-shaped shuriken to cut the line as the boulder crushes the lead henchman instead.  Afterwards, our heroes finally confront Derris who has managed to steal the Tri-Town Diamond.  He then mentions how he’ll use it order to make girlfriends cheat on their men with him before he also reveals that he has a trio of villains for them to face while he flees.  With Dick-Head, Cock-Knocker and News-Group eager to take our main men on, the story ends abruptly with Derris escaping via his blimp to enact his scheme while our heroes are forced into their upcoming fight.  Side Note: There was never a follow-up to this story.

Briefly, let’s get to a one-page tale that wasn’t in any comic book back then but has since been included in 2006’s “Tales From The Clerks: The Omnibus Collection”.  This was originally featured in an issue of Talk Magazine which was made by Miramax in collaboration with Hearst Magazines.  Originally debuting in September 1999, the publication wouldn’t last long as its financial failings led to its eventual end in February 2002.  As for how our featured yarn factors into this now-defunct reading material, it contains a single-page story from November 1999 written by Kevin Smith, illustrated by Jim Mahfood and colorized by Laura Allred as they deal with our signature clerks engaged within a grueling conversation focused “On The Perils Of Cinema”.  We begin within the Quick Stop Convenience Store where Randal reads about how movies are being clamped down on due to their influence on America’s youth.  Dante then says that movies aren’t the main problem, since they’re only as influential upon the youthfully weak minds as they want them to be.  As such, it would become a never-ending and pointless venture to constantly regulate every single movie in order to protect kids from emulating insane things that they see.  Graves then argues how certain classic films should be regulated as he believes that “The Wizard Of Oz” has ultimately made people either stupid, compassionless, scared or even all three.  He’s also not fond of “Mr. Smith Goes To Washington” due to an “honest guy shaking things up” within their government, along with “It’s A Wonderful Life” since he thinks that “some sad-sack teens” will try to attempt suicide in an effort to see an angel that shows them how worse the world would’ve been had they never been born.  Hicks then tells him that he’s aware of his friend’s facetiousness, to which Randal agrees on how everyone should stop blaming movies for everything that’s wrong with the world while also mentioning how there isn’t a single film that’s ever influenced how anyone thinks.  From there, the story ends with Dante dealing with a cash register and its stuck drawer before Graves tells him to “Use The Force”.

1999 would also be a notable year for the franchise since that’s when “Dogma” was released to the public via Lionsgate in North America while Miramax handled the international distribution.  Originally debuting on May 21 at the Cannes Film Festival before eventually reaching North American theaters on November 12, it focuses on two angels that’ve been banished from Heaven.  After they land in Wisconsin, they make their way to New Jersey in order to exploit a loophole that will help them return to the land of eternal paradise, even though it would also bring about the apocalypse.  As such, it falls upon a certain group of people in order to prevent this from happening.  Made on a $10 million budget, it would ultimately summon over $43 million worldwide while also receiving mixed-to-above-average critical praise.

From there, we wrap up the year as well as Oni Press’ time within the overall series with a certain one-shot comic called “Clerks: The Lost Scene”.  Published in December 1999, Kevin Smith would continue his regular writing duties while the duo of Phil Hester & Ande Parks return to help respectively pencil and ink the book.  As for how our initial duo managed to help close out the franchise’s run with the Portland-based publisher, let’s venture into this shop once again and find out.

We kick things off within a projection room as Silent Bob handles a projector while Jay pretends to be a horror host.  Suddenly, he gets a vicious cough as Silent Bob comes to his aid with a glass of water.  After taking a much-needed drink, Jay resumes with his introduction to “Tales From The Quick” before mentioning that neither he nor Silent Bob will even be in this upcoming tale.  He eventually mentions how the publisher has him presenting a scene that was ultimately not included in the movie “Clerks” on accounts that it was never even shot due to the miniscule budget before making a meta stab at the director/comic book writer being what’s wrong with the comic book industry due to people like him not being able to make their deadlines.  Afterwards, he sets the stage for the proceeding events as it’ll take place right as Dante and Randal head into the funeral home in order to pay their respects to Julie Marie Dwyer.

From there, we truly begin with our featured duo having just arrived before Graves begins to chat about “Death Cards”.  As he picks one up about Julie, he then says that he has several others from his deceased relatives’ funerals who all passed away at older ages compared to her.  Our main men then come across Alyssa Jones as Hicks learns that she had just moved into the city a few months ago while she’s glad to see him again after so long, though she wishes that it wasn’t in this way.  She then explains how she found out about Julie’s death in that she went to the Eden Prairie Mall since Dwyer was supposed to be on the televised dating show.  However, she then ran into T.S. Quint back on Thursday night who told her that the cameras add ten pounds when you’re on TV.  This freaked her out enough to go to the local YMCA and swim an insane number of lengths in the pool before ultimately losing her life.  Dante then says that he just found out about it and managed to get out of work in order to be here before Alyssa angrily asks him why Randal is even here.  Hicks explains that Graves insisted on going due to his belief that this would be “the social event of the season” before he then says that he hadn’t see Julie in nearly two years before he heard about her unfortunate demise.  Alyssa then mentions how Dwyer talked about him a week ago by mentioning how she assumed that he felt like a jerk due to Caitlin Bree getting married to another guy and that Caitlin herself told Julie this along with everyone else.  Alyssa herself mentions that Caitlin informed her about it two weeks prior, yet she’s surprised that Caitlin isn’t here to pay her final respects.  Dante says that it’s possible that she doesn’t know yet before Jones realizes that he didn’t learn about Bree’s engagement despite Hicks talking to her a lot on the phone lately.  He then asks Alyssa who Caitlin is going to marry, to which Jones says that it’s to a Design Major named Sang and that she’s met him a few times though he’s not “her type”.  Just then, Randal comes along while rudely asking where the food is before he tries to join their conversation, to which Alyssa simply storms off.

From there, our main men get in line for Julie’s coffin.  As they wait their turn, Dante tells his friend to immediately meet with her parents while he goes right for the coffin.  Randal then mentions how it’s regular procedure to meet with the folks before the deceased, to which Hicks says that her parents wouldn’t want to see him right now due to having them caught him with their daughter.  He explains that he and Julie were initially only in the living room watching TV before things got intimate enough for them to have sex, particularly with him giving her a blowjob.  Suddenly, her parents return home to catch them in the act.  Because they already knew his parents from church, her folks dropped out of the Parrish as a result before she got grounded for two months.  He hadn’t seen her parents since then and he wants to keep it that way since that’s why he wants Graves to distract her folks while he goes right for the coffin.

Randal proceeds to offer his sympathy to Mr. & Mrs. Dwyer before they ask him for his name, to which he introduces himself before he pulls Dante over and presents his friend.  As he predicted, they get mad at him before they both head over to Julie’s corpse.  They then both mention their own surprise as to the skimpy attire that she’s wearing for the wake before Hicks mentions how he wished that he had spent more time with her due to them getting intimate.  Randal then gets bored, even though Dante tells him to be patient while he gives one last prayer to her.  Graves then decides to go start the car as Hicks tosses him the keys.  However, Randal fumbles the catch before they somehow slip inside Julie’s mini skirt.

A stunned Dante mentions how the store key is also attached to his car keys before he demands to know how they’re going to get them back.  Ultimately, Graves decides to stand in front of him and rub his shoulders in order to serve as a distraction while Hicks tries to reach down and retrieve his keys.  However, this ends up attracting some unwanted attention as Julie’s parents head over to find out what’s going on.  They ultimately catch Dante with his hand down their deceased daughter’s skirt as the father attempts to strangle him while the mother tearfully chastises Randal.  Just as Graves criticizes her folks for laying her to rest within such skimpy clothing, the dad intervenes and causes him to bump into the coffin, resulting in Julie’s corpse falling onto the floor.  From there, we transition into the actual events of the movie where our main men flee from the funeral home.

And so, the comic ends back in the projector room as Jay begins to wrap things up before mentioning how this will serve as the only installment of “Tales From The Quick” unless this comic sells an extraordinary number of copies.  From there, he and Silent Bob take their leave.

Overall, this entire batch of tie-in tales felt right at home within the familiar series.  “Walt Flanagan’s Dog” reestablishes some familiar characters from the first two cinematic entries while also retaining Jay’s ignorant jerk face personality.  Particularly, he’s sex-obsessed and wants to performance weirdly bizarre sex acts with other women within his stoner lifestyle while also deflecting any notion of him being gay, especially since he hangs out with his mainly quiet, yet confidentially skilled comrade who’s something of a cool operator for whatever situation arises for them.  Because of Jay’s lewd and rude behavior (which will become a key launch pad for the duo’s mini-series), our duo is forced to venture around the Tri-Town area until they come across the key titular creature that was briefly referenced in the movie “Mallrats”.  Speaking of said movie, this tale is able to flesh out Steve-Dave who was seen in said flick when Brodie decided to butt heads with him in front of his comic book store where Stan Lee was giving autographs.  Along with his friend Walt (who was originally known in the movies as Walt “Fanboy” Grover yet was portrayed by Kevin Smith’s real-life friend, podcaster, comic store owner and comic book artist Walt Flanagan) are established to the reader as being pretty knowledgeable about the industry’s history.  Even though they’re not exactly living their best adult lives (especially since Walt doesn’t have his own place along with the fact that both men have a similar demeaning view of women given the game that they’re training for), their lives seem to be a bit more stable than our central stoners.  Once Jay & Silent Bob get the dog stoned, the series’ adult humor and outrageous style finally kicks in as it leads to an absurd, yet laughably good climax where the only solution is to outrun the little canine before ultimately luring it back to its home.  All-in-all, the pacing was neat & never rambles too far from its tale, the exaggerated black-&-white artwork has a comedically grungy look that fits this universe while also the main details are able to be made out and the overall tone fits in line with those inaugural dual entries in that it’s small-scale & something of an absurd slice-of-life, yet has the right attitude to entertain its core fans.  As such, it’s a wholesome (even if a little dirty) start to this line.  With “Clerks: The Comic Book”, it captures that particular moment in time when the original Star Wars trilogy had just gotten its Special Edition re-releases in theaters (which was actually in 1997) and the fanbase was ramped up with renewed excitement.  As for the story, it’s something of an absurd commentary on the obsessive hobby of collecting various items for any major franchise.  Because of Star Wars’ resurging popularity, Dante and Randal (especially the later) learn about an unorthodox means of acquiring high-end action figures from a seedy second-hand market before selling them to customers at overly high retail prices.  Due to them being stuck in their respective status quos of working within their low-end jobs, they ultimately see this as a way to make more money than what their salaries and their regular day-to-day grind normally provides.  Because this winds up butting heads with Jay and his attempt to sell drugs, this movement ultimately proves to be a passing fad for Hicks & Graves as they did manage to make some money out of this whole ordeal before our signature stoners came along to wreck the whole operation.  There’s not much else about this particular book to delve into, so I’ll mention that this self-contained piece is backed by some good pacing, exaggerated-yet-coherent artwork and humor that’s still adult yet is nowhere as raunchy as the preceding tale.  With this being the first of three comic book-based entries in-between Clerks’ first two films, it continues to maintain a certain street-level of ludicrousness that the initial entry had to help our inaugural duo get into more out-there ventures.  Moving on to “Jay & Silent Bob: Chasing Dogma”, this would be the biggest story out of all of Oni Press’ output since it would explain how our signature stoners would leave their familiar Garden State trappings behind for a while and wind up within the Midwest in time for the initial events of “Dogma”.  I’ve mentioned how Jay’s attitude is crass, lewd and rude, so all of his antics gets practically everyone in their home area fed up with both him & Silent Bob to the point where the latter’s love of Brat Pack films ultimately gives the former the idea for both of them to move to Illinois in order to allow them and their quirks to receive a fresh start.  Along the way, their stopover within the Steel City would retroactively hint at the celebrity encounters that they would come across during their eventual 2001 flick while also setting the groundwork for an in-universe fast food franchise to become a regular standard immediately starting with the aforementioned fourth cinematic outing.  While coming across an ill-tempered Mr. Rogers along with a version of Neil who wishes to advance the ideas of both independent & pornographic films fits in line with the out-there feel of this world, the third chapter sees Kevin Smith having our familiar men placed within a Fugitive parody plot involving an orangutan.  Even though regular moviegoers who don’t normaly read comics would probably find this whole situation amusing with how it’s presented in that film, those who actually read this mini-series will find several familiar beats with a few elements changed for said fifth film.  Getting back on track, the final chapter sees a disillusion settle in on Jay once he discovers that Shermer is an entirely fictional town.  Thankfully, a local metal band would ultimately restore their spirits just in time before they make their key save towards Bethany Sloane in “Dogma” occur.  As a whole, this four-part story makes for a fascinating road trip tale complete with the franchise’s signature bizarre feel, good pacing for its adult humor and some of the most professional-looking black-and-white artwork ever.  Even with its delayed release schedule, it still comes together to provide its fans with a neat transitional tale that guides our stoner duo into the roles that they would ultimately play in the fourth film and displays their escapades with bizarre rough-and-tumble class.  For the Clerks Holiday Issue, the focus reverts back to our favorite low-level store employees as they each face a situation that’s unique to them.  With Dante, the festive season gives him a chance to help Caitlin out of the traumatized funk that she’s been in ever since the inaugural entry.  His sensible side allows him to make most of the required effort needed in order to help her snap out of her non-reactive state, but it’s a piece of bad advice that he got from his longtime friend that would both help and hurt the situation.  Even though Hicks is among the more relatable figures within the whole franchise since he has far-more common sense than pretty much the majority of the central figures, his flaws have a tendency to wreck things for him at the worst possible moment.  Here, it’s the bad recommendation from his friend along with his sexual urge that dooms him from ever patching things up with Caitlin even though she’s no longer in the mental agony that she wound up in within the franchise’s first film.  As for Randal, he makes the most unlikely of encounters that’s seemingly set up shop between his video rental store and the familiar convenience store.  Because of how the story is structured, it’s possible that the initial event within the video rental store had set things up within his mind and that the major encounter entirely occurred in the recesses of his brain.  That seems to be the most likely cause given the presented series of events, especially since the mini apartment isn’t even open when Graves initially discovers it.  Ultimately, I wish that Smith had done a better job of setting this plot thread up so that it would’ve have a more ambiguous outcome and allowed for either the notion of it either being entirely real while he’s by himself or it was all a dream to him to be strong.  Despite that setback, the pacing was still solid, the exaggerated black-and-white artwork was still nicely presented, and the familiar outlandish tone was executed in just the right way to fit the festive mood.  For this being the franchise’s lone Yuletide entry, it executes its narrative yarns and allows them to both intertwine & flow in order to present a good singular experience.  In terms of “The Derris Affair”, it’s a short yet incomplete entry that sees our in-universe heroes dealing with a jewel thief with devious sexual intentions.  Because this is the first time that we properly see them since their soft introduction in “Chasing Amy”, it does partially establish their superheroic foundation primarily their underground base underneath the RST Video Rental Store along with a few notable foes that show up at the end that would become a bit more prevalent in both a later comic entry along with a scene in a real-life movie.  The former wears its Batman-inspired details on its sleaves while the fictional heroes retain similar in-universe slacker traits from the slacker duo.  Ultimately, that slice of cowardice allows Derris to mainly get away with his crime after Bluntman proves his confident skills to the goons against Chronic’s inept ability to handle even a single baddie.  As for why there’s never been a follow-up of any kind to what’s been labeled here as “Part 1”, internet search engines agree that there’s a major lack of any available information regarding that issue.  Despite its incomplete shortcomings, what’s presented here makes for a decent showing with solid artwork, a consistent tone and some good humor throughout.  For this being a tale that will mainly never see any proper conclusion, it does set the initial groundwork for these dynamic dunderheads and allows them to properly present themselves within a fairly reasonable space.  Briefly, let’s get to “On The Perils Of Cinema”.  For a one-page story that debuted outside of the comic book space, it does present an ever-continuing argument within our love for movies.  Here, Dante and Randal discuss a topic that isn’t exclusive to films in the form of over-reacting censorship.  Through Kevin’s viewpoint, Hick & Graves do bring up a good point in that while studios and creators should take special care whenever they deal with certain themes that they ultimately decide to include within their brand of media, the populace in general shouldn’t take everything shown within their consumed content to extremely serious lengths.  While critics should be allowed to point out moments where a serious topic isn’t being presented in an appropriate manner, it should never be to the point of absolute censorship where no one should ever be allowed to tackle said issue ever again.  Despite its short length, Smith does a nice job of presenting this topic in a respectful manner while the simple layout and artwork allows the discussion to shine as best as it can.  Whether you read this from the original magazine or in the Clerks Omnibus, it makes for a fascinating read.  Finally, we have “The Lost Scene”.  For anyone who saw the initial film and got to the brief funeral home scene, viewers can initially just use their imagination in order to determine how Hicks & Graves got into trouble for the latter knocking over Julie’s coffin and making the present company furious with them.  In terms of what actually happened but couldn’t get shot and included, it manages to expound on a subject that ultimately got its reworked expansion over in “Mallrats”.  It also explores a slice of Dante’s past love life that ultimately fell apart due to various reasons which would’ve also introduced Alyssa Jones to the series two entries earlier.  Not to mention, it would’ve also set up some details concerning the crash-and-burn attempt at a breakaway relationship between Hicks and Caitlin.  Because of the reasonable amount of content contained within this comic, one can only imagine how this movie would’ve faired if Kevin Smith had the time and especially enough financial space to include it into the final film.  Maybe it would’ve added more narrative meat, though possibly at the cost of some crucial pacing.  As is, the movie that we do have has gone on to become a 1990s classic.  In terms of this comic in general, it makes for a fascinating read for fans back when the film (and the series itself) was celebrating its five-year anniversary to even nowadays.  The presented sequence of events within this book gives a uniquely fascinating experience to its readers and it makes for an entertaining read that’s coupled with smooth pacing, well-executed adult humor and black-and-white artwork that continues to look coherently good throughout.  All-in-all, this gives a solid conclusion to Oni Press’ run with this franchise as they give the fanbase a unique bonus to a humble movie that’s been solid on its own terms while also setting the groundwork for a long-running entertainment series that’s delighted several grown generations within its Snootchie Bootchie realm.

We’re not quite done yet, since there’s still several more comics within this overall line to cover.  As for what a few other companies have in mind with their contributions, check out Part 2 to see what else Kevin Smith provided away from the silver screen and onto the printed page.  Until then, stay close to the Secret Stash.

All mentioned movies were made by View Askew Productions, which is owned by Kevin Smith and Scott Mosier.  All featured comics were published by Oni Press.